What should parents do if a child becomes unusually clingy or fearful after unsupervised online use? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a young child suddenly becomes unusually clingy or fearful after a period of unsupervised device use, it can be a sign that they have encountered something inappropriate, frightening, or confusing online. These behavioural changes are rarely random; they often reflect a deep, inner need for comfort and reassurance. It is vital for parents to respond with calmness and empathy, offering a sense of safety while gently guiding their child back towards emotional stability. 

Provide Reassurance Before Interrogation 

A child who has been shaken by a negative experience needs comfort before they need questioning. Instead of immediately asking, ‘What did you see?’, it is better to start with simple reassurance: ‘You look a little scared. I want you to know that I am here with you, and you are safe.’ This approach builds trust before you begin seeking answers. 

Gently Explore the Cause 

Once your child feels calm and secure, you can ask gentle, open-ended questions. For example: ‘Sometimes the internet can show us things that make us feel uncomfortable. Did you happen to see something that upset you?’ This avoids blame and invites an honest response by showing them that you understand. 

Reinforce Safety and Boundaries 

Explain to them that they are not in trouble for feeling upset, but that the family’s rules for supervised screen time exist precisely to protect them from these kinds of feelings. Encourage them to come to you immediately the next time something makes them feel uncomfortable, instead of carrying fear alone. 

Offer Alternatives and Comfort 

It is important to balance their screen time with other calming and connecting activities. Spending time reading a story together, playing outdoors, or joining in with family prayer can help to re-establish emotional security and reduce any lingering fear they may be feeling. 

By meeting their clinginess with warmth rather than frustration, parents can show that their primary role is to protect, not to punish. This helps to restore a child’s sense of trust after a distressing experience. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that feelings of fear and anxiety should be met with two powerful remedies: the remembrance of Allah Almighty and the reassurance of family protection. Parents are entrusted with the duty of noticing when their children’s hearts are unsettled and of gently guiding them back towards a state of peace and security. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verses 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This beautiful verse reminds us that unsettled hearts can always find their ultimate calm and tranquillity through faith and the remembrance of Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock a man is a shepherd over his family, and he will be asked about them.’ 

This teaching clarifies the immense responsibility parents carry. They are entrusted with the duty to protect and nurture their children, which includes being attentive to their fears, even those that arise from unseen digital dangers. 

By connecting the need for safety and comfort to their Islamic duty as parents, you can help your child to understand that their clinginess is not a weakness, but a natural sign of seeking protection. This helps them to learn that true and lasting security is found in both parental care and the remembrance of Allah Almighty.