What should I say when they think Allah does not love them because of loss? 

Parenting Perspective 

Hearing a child say, ‘Allah does not love me,’ after experiencing a loss can be heartbreaking. For them, a loss could be anything from not winning a prize and losing a toy, to struggling at school. In such moments, their young minds can easily connect a painful event to a feeling of being rejected by Allah. Your role is to lovingly separate their sense of worth from the loss, and to help them see that Allah’s love is constant, even when life feels difficult. 

Validate Their Feelings First 

Before attempting to correct your child’s thinking, it is crucial to first show empathy for their feelings. You could say: ‘I understand why you feel so sad right now. It really hurts when we lose something we wanted.’ This lets your child know that their emotion is seen and accepted. Rushing straight to, ‘Of course Allah loves you,’ may unintentionally dismiss their pain. 

Gently Reframe Their Thinking 

Once your child feels heard, you can guide them towards a healthier understanding. For example: ‘Losing something does not mean Allah loves you any less. Sometimes, Allah allows us to face difficult things to make us stronger, just like a teacher gives us harder questions to help us learn.’ This connects the idea of Allah’s love to growth, not punishment. 

Remind Them of Allah’s Everyday Blessings 

Gently remind your child of the constant, everyday signs of Allah’s love in their life. This helps to redirect their focus away from the single point of loss. 

• You could say: ‘Think about how Allah gave you eyes to see the world.’ 

• ‘And what about your family who loves you so much?’ 

• ‘And the food we get to eat every day?’ 

• ‘These are all signs of His love that are with you all the time.’ 

Encourage Hopeful Action 

Teach your child that when something is lost, turning to Allah in prayer is the best possible response. You could say: ‘When you feel sad, that is a perfect time to talk to Allah. You can ask Him to help you feel better and to give you something even better in its place. Every du‘a you make shows that you know He loves you and is always listening.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘If Allah loved me, He would not have let this happen.’ 

Parent: ‘I can see how much you are hurting right now. But Allah’s love for you has not become less just because something went wrong. Do you remember when you kept falling while you were learning to ride your bike? It was not because I did not love you; it was a necessary part of you learning and growing. Allah’s love is even greater than mine, and sometimes He lets us go through small falls so we can become stronger.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Loss can shake the faith of even an adult, so it is natural for a child to question Allah’s love. Islam teaches that hardships are not a sign of rejection, but can in fact be a sign of closeness and care from Allah. Gently explaining this helps a child to see their trials as a mark of divine wisdom, not abandonment. 

Allah’s Protection is Always Present 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 51: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “No calamity (or difficulty) shall ever befall upon us, except what has been decreed by Allah (Almighty); He is our Lord, and so the believers place their full reliance upon Allah (Almighty)”.’ 

This verse is a powerful reassurance that every event, even a painful one, occurs within the bounds of Allah’s protection. You can explain to your child: ‘Allah never leaves us alone. Even when we feel like we have lost something, He is still protecting us in ways we might not be able to see yet.’ 

Trials Can Be a Sign of Love 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5645, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.’ 

This hadith can be simplified for a child: ‘When you face something hard, it does not mean Allah has stopped loving you. It can actually mean that He trusts you are strong enough to grow through it, and He wants to bring you even closer to Him.’ 

By linking their sadness to these teachings, you help your child to see that Allah’s love is not withdrawn in times of loss. In fact, it is through patience, prayer, and trust that they can experience His love even more deeply. Children who learn this lesson grow up with a resilient faith, understanding that life’s hardships are not signs of being unloved, but opportunities to become stronger, wiser, and more connected to Allah’s infinite mercy.