What should I say when they freeze after forgetting lines in a play? 

Parenting Perspective 

For a child, standing on stage can be both thrilling and frightening. They dream of performing well, receiving applause, and making their family proud. But when they freeze and forget their lines, the world can suddenly feel very heavy. The silence, the stares, and the realisation of making a mistake in front of everyone may fill them with embarrassment and shame. This experience is not just about forgetting a line; it is about how they interpret that moment. Your words after such an experience can either build their resilience or deepen their fear of ever trying again. 

Acknowledge Their Courage, Not Just the Mistake 

Begin by recognising the incredible bravery it took for them to stand on the stage in the first place. You could say: 

• ‘I am so proud of you for having the courage to go up there and perform in front of all those people.’ 

• ‘Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone is brave enough to be on a stage like you were today.’ 

By immediately shifting the focus from the mistake to their courage, you help them to see the bigger picture. 

Normalise Mistakes in Performance 

Children often believe that forgetting their lines makes them a failure. You can normalise this experience by reminding them that even seasoned professionals make mistakes: 

• ‘Did you know that even famous actors on television sometimes forget their lines and have to start again?’ 

• ‘It is not the mistake that really matters, but how you carry on afterwards.’ 

You could share examples of famous performers who stumbled but kept going, showing that resilience often earns more respect than flawless perfection. 

Teach Them What to Say to Themselves 

Help your child to build a mental script to use if they find themselves in a similar situation in the future: 

• ‘It is okay. I will just take a deep breath and pick up from the next line.’ 

• ‘I can smile, take a pause, and then keep going.’ 

• ‘Freezing for a moment does not mean I am a failure; it just means I am learning.’ 

This positive inner dialogue can reduce their fear of the same thing happening again. 

Encourage Reflection Without Shame 

After the play, when things have calmed down, sit with them and ask gentle questions: 

• ‘What did you learn from that experience today?’ 

• ‘What do you think you might do differently next time?’ 

Let them talk freely, but make sure the conversation remains constructive and forward-looking. Make sure to praise not just the final performance, but also the effort they put into rehearsals and the courage it took to show up despite their nerves. 

Practical Strategies for the Future 

• Rehearse recovery: When you are practising with them at home, occasionally stop them mid-line and say, ‘Now, pretend you have forgotten. What will you do next?’ This helps to build practical resilience. 

• Teach breathing techniques: A slow, deep breath is a powerful tool to calm nerves and help with memory recall. 

• Model acceptance: Share stories of times when you stumbled during public speaking but managed to keep going. 

• Celebrate their effort afterwards: Even if the play was not perfect, plan a small treat or a family celebration to honour their bravery for taking part. 

When your child sees that forgetting their lines is not a disaster but simply a moment from which to learn, they will gradually build their resilience and stage confidence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our mistakes do not erase our value. Human beings were not created to be flawless, but to grow and develop through challenges. Forgetting their lines on stage is a small but powerful reminder that perfection is not the goal; rather, the true goals are effort, patience, and humility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verse 6: 

‘Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

This verse reassures us that every difficult moment, including the embarrassment of freezing on stage, is followed by relief and an opportunity for learning. For your child, it is a reminder that this small trial can open the door to greater resilience and inner strength in the future. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4168, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allah, and do not give up.’ 

This hadith reminds us that true strength is not found in never stumbling, but in continuing to strive and refusing to give up. For a child who froze on stage, the lesson is clear: a moment of weakness does not erase their worth. What truly matters is that they continue to strive, to perform, and to grow from the experience. 

By grounding their experience in these teachings, you show your child that forgetting their lines is not a failure but a natural part of the learning process. They will come to realise that courage is not about being perfect, but about having the strength to stand up again after stumbling. 

Over time, they will grow into a young person who can face public challenges with patience, humility, and faith. Instead of fearing mistakes, they will learn to embrace them as valuable steps toward growth, trusting that Allah Almighty sees every ounce of their effort and rewards their courage.