Parenting Perspective 

Explain That Different is Not Wrong 

It is natural for children to be confused when they see that their friends have different rules at home. The first step is to validate their feeling: ‘Yes, it can feel a bit strange when you see that other families do things differently.’ You can then explain that every family has its own way of doing things, and that different rules do not mean one family is right and the other is wrong; it just means they have different styles. 

Teach Flexibility and Consistency 

Teach your child to be adaptable and respectful when visiting other homes: ‘When we are guests in someone’s house, we follow their rules to show respect.’ At the same time, you can reinforce the consistency of your own household’s values: ‘But in our home, we always do it this way because this is what works for our family.’ This teaches them to be flexible when they are away, and consistent when they are at home. 

Frame Rules as Expressions of Care 

By framing rules as expressions of a family’s unique culture and care, you ease your child’s confusion. This helps them feel secure in your family’s boundaries while also being respectful of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Approach Differences with Respect 

Islam teaches us to approach those with different customs or beliefs with wisdom and respect. The Quran commands believers to use the best of manners in dialogue, focusing on common ground rather than on conflict. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 46: 

‘And do not debate with the People of the Book, except in an equitable manner…’ 

Love for Others What You Love for Yourself 

This foundational principle of our faith encourages empathy and respect for others. Just as we want our own family’s values and rules to be respected, we should extend that same courtesy to others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

Confidence in Identity, Respect for Diversity 

When you teach your child to respect the rules of others while holding firmly to your own family’s values, you help them to navigate the world with confidence. They learn to be flexible without being confused, and to respect the diversity that Allah has created.