What should I reflect on after the argument is over, so I do not fall into the same pattern again? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Power of Reflection 

It is reflection that turns an error into a pivotal moment. Avoid rushing past a disagreement or becoming overwhelmed by remorse after it has occurred. Rather, silently ask yourself: What set me off? Was I responding to something else I had been carrying, or to my child? The moment might have struck an old emotional wound, an unfulfilled expectation, or simply exhaustion. During the dispute, what narrative was going through your mind? They never listen, or I am failing as a parent. These inner monologues frequently feed ferocity. They lose their power after being named. 

Creating a Repair Ritual 

Another option is to create a brief personal repair ritual, which is a series of calming actions you promise to follow following any disagreement. This could be repeating a soothing phrase like Pause, writing one reflective sentence in a journal, or stopping for Istighfar. Breathe and talk quietly. Making time for introspection without passing judgement teaches you to make choices, which reactive parenting never permits. Progress, not perfection the next time, is the aim. Every act of introspection strengthens your emotional fortitude for the next challenging situation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Muraqabah, or introspection, is not only encouraged but also seen as an act of sincerity in Islam. Allah Almighty instructs in Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 18: 

“All those of you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty); and let every person anticipate (the consequences of) what they have sent forth (in the Hereafter) for the next day…..” 

This verse gently reminds us to look back on our deeds with awareness rather than hopelessness. Even though he was sinless, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reflected on himself with unparalleled humility. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2702, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“I seek forgiveness from Allah Almighty a hundred times a day.” 

Therefore, contemplation is devotion rather than humiliation. You are participating in a spiritual practice each time you take the time to honestly evaluate your parenting. Your readiness to develop is a return to Allah Almighty. The pattern can finally be broken in that return, not only for you but also for future generations.