What should I do when they copy good but exaggerated habits?
Parenting Perspective
It is common for children to imitate positive behaviours, such as praying or helping, but with an exaggerated enthusiasm. For instance, they might pray loudly to be noticed or ‘help’ in a way that is controlling rather than supportive. While the initial intention is good, this exaggeration can make the habit feel insincere or disruptive. Your role is to gently guide them towards balance, ensuring their good habits remain meaningful.
Acknowledge the Positive Intention First
Always begin by acknowledging and affirming their good intention. This ensures they feel seen and encouraged for trying to do the right thing, rather than criticised.
- You could say, ‘I love that you are so eager to pray.’
- Or, ‘It is wonderful that you enjoy helping our family so much.’
Validating their effort first makes them more receptive to gentle guidance.
Gently Guide Them Towards Balance
Once you have praised their intention, you can steer them towards moderation without discouraging the habit itself.
- You might explain, ‘Praying is a beautiful and quiet conversation with Allah. Let us try it together calmly.’
- Or, ‘True helping means making a task easier for someone, not taking it over completely.’
This refines their understanding of the behaviour.
Model Moderation in Your Own Actions
Children learn a great deal from observing the style and tone of their parents. Be a consistent example of balance in your own life.
- Pray with humility and quiet focus.
- Offer help in a way that is thoughtful and respectful, not overwhelming.
- Speak kindly and politely, but without being forceful or overly dramatic.
When a child sees balanced behaviour modelled at home, they will naturally begin to adjust their own approach.
Redirect Their Energy Constructively
If your child’s exaggeration seems to be a bid for attention or a desire to feel important, provide them with positive and safe outlets for this energy.
- Allow them to ‘lead’ a family activity during playtime.
- Assign them small, age-appropriate responsibilities that they can complete independently.
This helps satisfy their need to feel capable while teaching them to channel their energy in a balanced way.
Praise Sincerity Over Performance
Make a point of highlighting the moments when they act with natural sincerity, without any exaggeration.
- ‘I loved how peacefully you prayed just now. That felt very sincere.’
- ‘You helped your brother without making a big show of it. That is what real kindness looks like.’
This teaches them that simple, humble actions are often the most admirable.
Spiritual Insight
Guidance from the Quran
Islam teaches the importance of finding a middle path in all our affairs, including our acts of worship.
Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 110:
‘…Do not recite too loudly in your prayers, and neither be silent therein, but seek a pathway between that.’
This beautiful verse teaches a core principle of Islam: the importance of moderation, even in the sacred act of worship. It reminds us that a balanced and middle path makes our good deeds more sincere and beautiful in the sight of Allah.
Guidance from the Hadith
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned against overburdening oneself in matters of faith, encouraging ease and sustainability.
It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 39, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
‘Religion is very easy, and whoever overburdens himself in religion will not be able to continue in that way. So do what is right, near to perfection, and receive the glad tidings.’
This Hadith teaches that extremism, even in the pursuit of good deeds, can lead to imbalance and burnout. By guiding your child to practise goodness with moderation and joy, you are helping them build sincere, sustainable habits that will last a lifetime.