What Should I Do When Siblings Snatch Toys Mid-Play? 

Parenting Perspective 

Focus on Fairness, Not Fault 

When a toy is snatched, the goal is not to determine who is ‘right’ but to restore fairness without causing shame. Begin by calmly narrating the situation instead of making accusations: ‘I saw the toy being grabbed, and that stopped the game.’ This approach shifts the focus from blame to problem-solving. Return the toy to a neutral space and say, ‘We will reset this and try again with fair turns.’ When children see that snatching ends the fun but calmness restarts it, they begin to value cooperation over control. 

Establish a Visible Fairness Routine 

Young children need a structure they can see. Use a physical timer or a token system to manage turn-taking. Announce the rule: ‘When the timer rings, we swap.’ If one child grabs the toy before their turn, the timer is reset, and that child must wait for the full cycle again. The system itself becomes the teacher, not just your voice. You could post a small sign nearby that reads: ‘When we wait, we win.’ Over time, consistent visual cues help turn fairness into a habit. 

Teach Clear ‘Ask-and-Wait’ Scripts 

Rehearse simple, respectful phrases with your children to equip them with the right words to use. 

• ‘Can I have a turn when you are finished?’ 

• ‘I will wait for two minutes, then it is my turn.’ 

• ‘Shall we trade toys for a little while?’ 

Practise these scripts when everyone is calm. You can even role-play some silly examples so that the skill is associated with laughter rather than tension. When you see them using these phrases in a real situation, offer precise praise: ‘You waited patiently and used your words. That shows strong self-control.’ 

Guide Repair, Not Revenge 

After an item has been snatched, it is best to separate the children first and talk to them later. Once tempers have cooled, bring them together for a short process of repair. This involves returning the toy, offering a sincere apology, and performing one kind act, such as handing the toy back gently or offering to help with something. Avoid lengthy lectures; small, repeated acts of repair teach empathy more effectively than inducing guilt. 

Protect Ownership While Encouraging Sharing 

Each child should have a few ‘safe toys’ that are theirs alone and do not have to be shared. There should also be a ‘share zone’ for communal toys. This balance helps to build a sense of security. Children are often better at sharing when they know that some of their belongings are completely theirs. You can explain this by saying: ‘We respect the items on your safe shelf, and we share the toys from the basket.’ Clear boundaries make generosity feel more genuine and less forced. 

Model Patience Yourself 

If a child grabs a toy out of frustration, maintain a slow and low tone of voice: ‘Hands down. Let us reset.’ The calm rhythm you demonstrate becomes the one they learn to imitate. Your own restraint teaches a more powerful lesson than your rules ever will. 

Spiritual Insight 

Uphold Justice, Even in Small Matters 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 135: 

‘O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives…’ 

This verse anchors fairness as a daily act of worship. Teaching children to return what they have snatched and to wait for their turn is part of building adl (justice) within the home. Remind them gently: ‘Allah Almighty loves those who are fair, even in small things like sharing toys.’ 

Strength in Self-Control, Not Seizing 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

Explain to your children that snatching a toy is a quick victory for their muscles, but waiting patiently is a victory for their heart. You can tell them, ‘Real strength is keeping your hands still and waiting for your turn.’ By linking each act of patience to this hadith, they learn that fairness is not a weakness but is faith in action. 

When you respond without anger, establish clear routines, and frame patience as a form of strength, your children learn that toys can be replaced but trust cannot. Every calm reset trains their hearts in justice, empathy, and self-control. With steady practice, these moments of conflict become classrooms for adab, where fairness is an act of worship, and patience becomes a child’s proudest form of strength before Allah Almighty.