What should I do when siblings gloat and make losing harder? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one sibling gloats after winning, it can intensify the hurt felt by the one who lost. Instead of an opportunity to learn resilience, the losing child is left feeling humiliated. At the same time, the gloating child may begin to form a habit of arrogance and insensitivity. This situation calls for balanced parenting that protects the feelings of the child who lost while simultaneously guiding the winner to practise humility and kindness. 

Address the Winner’s Behaviour 

If one sibling begins to gloat, it is important to step in calmly but firmly: 

• Remind them: ‘Winning does not give us the right to make others feel bad.’ 

• Set the standard: ‘In this family, we celebrate our victories with kindness, not with teasing.’ 

• Encourage positive language: Prompt them to say something like, ‘Good game, you played well,’ rather than taunting. 

Teaching humility is just as important as teaching resilience, as it helps prevent arrogance from taking root in your child’s character. 

Support the Losing Child 

After addressing the winner, turn your attention to the sibling who lost and validate their feelings: 

• ‘I know it feels even harder when someone teases you. That must have been upsetting.’ 

• Remind them that their value is not determined by one game: ‘I loved how you kept trying, even when it was tough.’ 

This simple reassurance can reduce the sting of the gloating and strengthen their emotional resilience. 

Set Clear Family Rules for Games 

Children thrive on consistency. It is helpful to create clear household expectations around playing games: 

• Victories should be celebrated without mocking others. 

• Players should always shake hands or say ‘Well played’ after finishing a game. 

• The feelings of all siblings must be respected, with no name-calling, bragging, or taunting allowed. 

Establishing these expectations clearly helps to prevent repeated arguments and fosters a culture of respect within the family. 

Practical Strategies for Long-Term Harmony 

• Model sportsmanship: Show humility in your own daily wins and losses, demonstrating how to handle both with grace. 

• Praise kindness: Make a point of highlighting moments when siblings show respect towards each other, especially in competitive situations. 

• Teach empathy: Ask the winning child, ‘How would you feel if the roles were reversed and you had lost?’ 

• Play cooperative games: Encourage games based on teamwork, where siblings have to work together to either win or lose as a group. 

Over time, these practices reduce unhealthy rivalry and build mutual respect. Instead of allowing competition to tear siblings apart, it becomes a valuable opportunity for their shared character development. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that arrogance and mocking others are deeply harmful traits, while humility and compassion are signs of true inner strength. Gloating after a victory might seem like a small issue in childhood, but if it is left unchecked, it can nurture the harmful traits of pride and insensitivity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 18: 

‘And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting.’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that showing arrogance or contempt towards other people is disliked by Allah Almighty. When one sibling gloats, they are practising a form of arrogance. Teaching humility in these small moments helps to build a character that is pleasing to Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 611, that the holy Prophet Muhammad said: 

‘No one who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.’ A man said: ‘But a person likes his clothes and shoes to look good.’ The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.’ 

This hadith clarifies that arrogance is not about enjoying the blessings of life, but about belittling or looking down on others. When a sibling gloats, they are in effect “looking down” on the one who lost. Correcting this behaviour gently but firmly helps to protect their heart from the disease of arrogance. 

By connecting the dynamics of sibling play to these profound spiritual values, you show your children that games are about much more than winning or losing; they are about practising humility, kindness, and fairness. The sibling who lost learns patience and self-worth, while the sibling who won learns compassion and respect. 

In this way, every family game becomes more than simple entertainment. It becomes a classroom for the heart, where siblings can grow into young believers who value mercy over pride, respect over rivalry, and humility over arrogance.