What should I do when reminders about chores are ignored day after day? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is deeply frustrating for a parent to repeat the same instruction daily, only to be ignored. You might feel invisible, disrespected, or simply tired of the constant nagging. Although it may seem like disobedience, ignored chores often indicate a problem with communication, motivation, or accountability, rather than outright defiance. Changing this pattern requires rethinking how expectations are set and how responsibility is shared. 

Re-evaluate Your Communication 

Children often tune out reminders because they associate them with stress or criticism. If chores are always mentioned with tension, the mind naturally begins to ignore them. Before you remind your child again, ask yourself: how does my tone sound? Is this a command or an invitation to contribute? A calm, predictable cue is far more effective than an instruction repeated in frustration. 

Cultivate a Sense of Shared Responsibility 

Instead of issuing constant reminders, involve your child in creating the system. 

• Discuss chores at a calm time, not in the middle of a conflict. 

• Agree on what needs to be done, when it should be completed, and why it matters for the family. 

• Write the tasks down or use a visual chart so the responsibility becomes visible and shared. 

When children help to build the structure, they are more likely to adhere to it. This sense of ownership transforms chores from parental demands into shared family duties. 

Use Natural Consequences Instead of Repetition 

Once expectations are clear, there is no need to repeat them. A reminder should be given once, followed by a natural consequence if the task is not completed. For example: 

‘The laundry needs to be folded before you have screen time. If it is not done, screen time will wait until tomorrow.’ 

No anger or lectures are necessary. The effectiveness of this approach lies in its quiet consistency. Children learn much faster through steady follow through than through repeated reminders. 

Acknowledge Progress to Encourage Motivation 

Children respond strongly to recognition. When they complete a task, even partially, notice their effort immediately: 

‘I see you have started tidying your desk. That is a great start.’ 

Acknowledging progress is a far better motivator than highlighting what was missed. Encouragement nurtures responsibility by linking a child’s effort with appreciation, not with fear. 

Spiritual Insight 

When a parent’s reminders are consistently ignored, it can test both patience and faith. Yet within this test lies a spiritual opportunity to practise steadiness and to guide with intention rather than irritation. 

Responsibility as a Trust in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 72: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) presented (other species) within the layers of trans-universal existence and the Earth and the mountains to be entrusted (with discretion in their actions); so, they refused to bear (the weight of that discretion) …’ 

This verse reminds us that responsibility is not merely a burden but a sacred trust. Teaching children to complete their chores is about more than just tidiness; it is about shaping their understanding of amanah, the trust placed upon every believer. Each small duty fulfilled at home helps to build the habit of honouring larger trusts in life. 

Accountability and Integrity in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1705, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

This teaching shows us that accountability begins at home. Parents are shepherds, but children also have their own flocks to tend to: their actions, their time, and their duties. When we guide them to complete their chores, we are helping them understand that every action has meaning before Allah Almighty. Fulfilling responsibilities is not about obedience to parents alone; it is a part of serving with sincerity. 

The daily cycle of reminders can feel thankless, but it is a slow and steady cultivation of discipline. When you choose calm consistency over frustration, your child sees a living example of responsibility. Spiritually, your patience in this process carries great weight. By guiding your child to honour these small trusts, you are preparing them for the greater responsibilities of adulthood. In time, the ignored reminders will give way to reliable habits, and your perseverance will have quietly built a home rooted in faith and mutual respect.