What should I do when one child interrupts my private chat with another? 

Parenting Perspective 

When you are having a quiet, meaningful conversation with one child and another bursts in, it can feel both frustrating and disrespectful. This behaviour, however, often stems from insecurity or curiosity rather than pure defiance. The interrupting child may worry they are missing out on affection or simply feel excluded from your attention. Handling this moment with a balance of calm firmness and emotional reassurance can teach both children about boundaries, respect, and trust. 

Recognise What Drives the Interruption 

Children rarely interrupt with the intention of being rude. They do so because they fear exclusion. When they see you giving focused attention to a sibling, they can experience an emotional fear of being left behind. Recognising this helps you to respond with compassion instead of annoyance. Before you react, take a breath and remind yourself that your child is asking for connection, just in an unskilful way. You can then calmly say, ‘I can see you really want to talk to me. I will finish speaking with your sister in a few minutes, and then it will be your turn.’ 

Establish a ‘Respectful Waiting’ Rule 

It is best to set this rule during a calm moment, not in the heat of a conflict. You could say, ‘Sometimes I will be talking privately with one of you. During that time, the other needs to wait quietly or find something to do. Then I will talk with you right after.’ 

For younger children, you can make this rule more tangible. For example, place a small ‘conversation stone’ on the table when you are having a private talk. When the stone is visible, it means, ‘Mum is listening right now.’ This visual cue helps them to respect boundaries without feeling ignored. 

Use Calm Scripts for Interruptions 

If your child bursts in mid-conversation, respond with composure, not irritation. Here are a few calm phrases you can use: 

• ‘I am with your brother right now. I will be with you next.’ 

• ‘I know you have something to say. Please wait for a moment, and I will come to you as soon as we are done.’ 

• ‘Everyone gets private time with me, and you will have yours, too.’ 

Say this gently but firmly, avoiding lectures. The aim is to reinforce the boundary with consistency. 

Ensure Each Child Receives Private Moments 

If one child constantly interrupts, it may signal that they are not getting enough one-to-one time with you. Try to schedule small, regular check-ins with each child. Even five minutes of undivided attention can make a significant difference. When children trust that their turn for your attention will come, they feel less need to invade someone else’s. 

Reconnect and Acknowledge Their Patience 

Once your private chat is over, briefly acknowledge the child who was waiting: ‘Thank you for waiting so patiently. Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?’ This reinforces patience as a virtue and shows them that waiting calmly does lead to your attention, while interrupting only delays it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a high value on respecting the rights of others, which includes the right to privacy and uninterrupted attention. A child who learns to wait respectfully is learning adab (proper manners), sabr (patience), and ihsan (excellence in behaviour). As a parent, teaching this balance with mercy reflects the prophetic model of gentleness and order within the home. 

The Quranic View on Respect and Boundaries 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 27–28: 

‘O those of you who are believers, do not enter houses (of other people) except your own homes; unless you have permission from them, (and when you do) say Salaams upon the inhabitants… and if you are told: “Turn back”, then turn back (without any hard feelings) , as (such a response) shall purify for you (your dealings with people)…’ 

This verse teaches that even within close relationships, boundaries matter. Respect for privacy is a sign of a pure heart. By guiding children to wait for permission before entering a conversation, you are helping them to internalise this Quranic value of courteous restraint. 

The Prophetic Counsel on Gentleness 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3688, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.’ 

This hadith reminds us that self-restraint is a hallmark of a good character. Teaching children to pause and wait when others are talking nurtures their inner discipline and humility. It shows them that good manners begin not with speaking, but with listening and respecting the right moment to speak. 

When you remain calm during these interruptions, you show your children that order and love can coexist. You are modelling emotional control: the ability to remain kind without losing your authority. Over time, they will learn that patience earns attention, privacy is not exclusion, and trust in fairness brings peace. Your consistency turns these small interruptions into powerful moral lessons.