Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Dismissal 

When a child feels less loved than a sibling, it can cause a deep hurt that often manifests as anger or rivalry. The first and most important step is to acknowledge their feelings without becoming defensive. If your child says, ‘You love my brother more than me,’ resist the urge to immediately deny it. Instead, validate their emotion by saying, ‘I can see that you are feeling left out, and I am sorry that you feel that way.’ This simple act makes them feel heard and understood. 

Give Each Child Individual Attention 

Every child has a deep need to feel seen and valued for who they are. Parents should make an effort to set aside regular one-on-one time with each child, even if it is only for a few minutes each day. This could be reading a book together or simply talking about their interests without any distractions. This undivided attention reassures a child of their unique place in your heart. 

Balance Fairness with Individual Needs 

It is also helpful to explain that ‘fairness’ does not always mean ‘sameness.’ One child may need more help with their homework, while another may need more emotional support. Explain that while the type of attention might differ based on their individual needs, the love behind it is equal and unchanging. Reinforce this by praising each child for their unique strengths and contributions to the family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Justice in the Family is a Divine Command 

Islam teaches that children are a trust from Allah, and parents are commanded to be just and fair between them. The Quran reminds us that justice is not just a societal principle but a divine command that begins in the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘ Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

Be Just with Your Children 

The prophetic tradition strongly emphasises the duty of parents to be just and equitable with their children. This direct command highlights how seriously this responsibility should be taken, as parents are accountable to Allah for it. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

Fulfilling the Trust of Parenthood 

By consciously affirming each child’s unique worth and avoiding any favouritism, parents fulfil an important part of their trust from Allah. This approach not only nurtures a child’s confidence and security but also helps to raise siblings who feel equally cherished, building a home that is filled with fairness, love, and spiritual blessing.