What should I do when my toddler throws a tantrum in public?
Parenting Perspective
At times where a young child exhibits disruptive behaviour in a public, it is common for a parent to experience feelings of helplessness, embarrassment, or a sense of being subjected to judgement by others. It is important to acknowledge that tantrums represent a developmentally appropriate reaction for young children who are in the process of acquiring skills to regulate emotions. Public environments frequently subject children to sensory overload, unfamiliar routines, and restrictive limitations, which can result in emotional outbursts. At that juncture, it is imperative for a parent to navigate the child through the tumultuous emotional landscape while refraining from exacerbating the circumstances. It is appropriate to refrain from responding with anger or undue severity. Rather, one should calmly extricate the child from the immediate environment, provided it is safe to do so, while maintaining a composed demeanour. Utilise clear and comforting language, refrain from providing extensive instructions, and maintain eye contact whenever feasible to foster a connection with the child. Proactive planning is essential in mitigating potential incidents. It is helpful to provide a comprehensive explanation of the outing’s activities in advance and to ensure that fundamental needs, such as hunger and fatigue, are adequately addressed prior to the event. It is advantageous to prioritise addressing your child’s emotional needs while simultaneously establishing and upholding clear behavioural boundaries, rather than concentrating on public perception. Children acquire the ability to regulate their emotions
not by means of punitive measures, but rather through consistent and calm guidance during distressing situations.
Spiritual Insight
Allah Almighty, in His wisdom, created children with stages of growth and development, including emotional learning. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25) Verse 74: ‘O our Sustainer, Grant to us (those circumstances that) makes our spouses and our offspring, a comfort for our eyes; and make us from those that have attained piety, and a role model’ This verse highlights that children can bring great joy and goodness, even though the experience of raising them can be challenging. Tantrums, while challenging, provide a parent with a chance to develop patience, show compassion, and lead emotionally. During challenging times, seeking guidance from Allah Almighty through prayers for wisdom and tranquilly can serve as a strong foundation. Furthermore, it is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 376, Anas bin Malik narrated that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ shortened his prayer upon hearing a child cry, out of concern for the mother. This action reflects the Prophetic model of mercy and empathy toward both children and their caregivers, even in communal and public settings. When a parent chooses calm over anger, and gentleness over shame, they mirror this prophetic guidance. A short, sincere Dua such as ‘Hasbun Allahu Wa Ni’mal Wakeel’ (Allah Almighty is sufficient for us, and the best disposer of affairs) can provide inner steadiness in overwhelming public moments. A parent’s reaction in public settings guides the child on how to handle stress in the future. When approached thoughtfully, even outbursts can serve as a pathway for spiritual development for both the parent and the child.
