Parenting Perspective 

An eye-roll from a teenager can feel like a direct hit of disrespect, and it is easy to react with frustration. However, this gesture is often a teenager’s non-verbal way of expressing feelings they cannot yet articulate be it frustration, embarrassment, or a simple desire for autonomy. The key is to respond to the behaviour without escalating it into a power struggle, using the moment to teach mutual respect. 

Respond Calmly, Not Reactively 

Your own composure is your greatest strength. Instead of snapping back, take a breath and calmly state your observation: ‘I can see that you are finding this conversation difficult. Let us take a break and talk properly in a few minutes.’ This acknowledges the eye-roll without rewarding it with an emotional reaction. 

Address the Behaviour, Not the Person 

Separate the action from their character. You can say, ‘I value you and your opinion, but when you roll your eyes, it makes me feel dismissed. It is important that we both show respect in this conversation.’ This sets a clear boundary without resorting to shame. 

Model the Respect You Expect 

Teenagers are highly attuned to hypocrisy. If you want them to stop using dismissive gestures, you must avoid them yourself. Refraining from sarcasm, raised voices, or your own exasperated sighs is a powerful, unspoken lesson in the mutual respect you are trying to build. 

Focus on Connection, Not Control 

Ultimately, the goal is not to control your teen’s every expression but to maintain a connection. By calmly addressing the disrespect while keeping the door open for a better conversation, you teach them that your relationship is more important than a momentary conflict, and that mutual respect is the bridge that keeps you connected. 

This balanced approach helps preserve your relationship while setting firm boundaries, teaching your teenager that respect is a two-way street. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam establishes a framework of mutual respect and kindness within the family. While it commands children to honour their parents, it also calls on parents to guide with immense patience and dignity, especially during the challenging teenage years. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘…Then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.‘ 

This powerful verse highlights the sensitivity required in our speech towards parents. The prohibition of even a small sound of annoyance, ‘uff’, teaches us that respect is shown in the smallest of gestures and tones. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2507, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm is better than the one who does not mix with them and is not patient with their harm.’ 

This hadith praises the virtue of patience when dealing with the ‘harm’ of others. For a parent, a teenager’s dismissive attitude can feel like a small harm, and responding with prophetic patience, rather than anger, is an act that earns a greater reward. 

By handling eye-rolling with steadiness and clarity, you not only correct the behaviour but also create a home where respect is modelled and nurtured. Over time, your teen learns that listening and speaking with kindness is not just a family rule but an Islamic value that shapes their character.