What should I do when my child sneaks toys from a sibling’s room? 

This is a common and vital question for Muslim parents. The essence of raising a child with strong Islamic character is a multifaceted process that involves both active nurturing and setting a virtuous example. It is not a passive activity but a conscious, ongoing effort to instil values, morals, and a connection to the Creator. 

Parenting Perspective 

The issue of sneaking toys is rarely about the object itself. It is often a complex mixture of curiosity, a test of boundaries, or a bid for attention from the parents or the sibling. The parental response must focus on building trust and teaching restitution, not shame. 

Addressing the Behaviour and Rebuilding Trust 

Start by naming the pattern without shaming the child. This reduces defensiveness and keeps the focus on the behaviour. 

• Name the action and its consequence: “You wanted that toy and took it secretly. Sneaking breaks trust here.” 

• Parents are teaching the child how to make things right, not delivering a lecture. 

Making Boundaries Visible and Predictable 

Create a clear, simple rule that all children can repeat, turning respect from an idea into a concrete habit. 

• Establish the rule: “Bedrooms are private. Ask before entering and borrowing.” 

• Concrete Rituals: Implement a simple “borrow basket” in the hallway or a small sign on each door. 

• The borrowing script must be: knock, wait, ask, and (for older children) log the item on a small card. 

Requiring Calm Restitution 

When an item is taken, guide the child through a quiet three-step repair process. Parents must maintain a steady tone throughout. 

1. Return the item to its rightful place. 

2. Offer a sincere apology using full sentences (e.g., “I am sorry I took your toy without asking.”). 

3. Complete a small restorative act chosen by the owner, such as tidying a shelf or trading ten minutes of help. 

Teaching Effective Permission Scripts 

Role-playing helps the child practise the correct behaviour for the future. Rehearse the following steps: knock, wait, ask, and return. 

• Borrowing Script: “Can I borrow this for fifteen minutes and bring it back to your shelf?” 

• Trading Script: “Can we swap? I will trade you my car set for your figure until after dinner.” 

• Praise Precision: Acknowledge their success: “You asked clearly and brought it back on time. That is trust.” 

Protecting the Sibling Relationship 

Avoid public interrogations or blame loops, such as “Who took it this time.” Focus on solutions that reduce friction and give each child a sense of control over their belongings. 

• Give each child one “safe shelf” for special items that never leave the room without the owner present. 

• Designate one “share shelf” for items that can be borrowed with a card and permission. 

Using Natural and Brief Consequences 

If sneaking repeats, add a proportional limit that teaches responsibility rather than humiliating the child. 

• For example, the child loses borrowing privileges for twenty-four hours and must earn them back through two successful “ask-and-return” trials. 

• Maintain matter-of-fact language: “Privileges return when trust returns.” 

Closing with Connection 

After the repair process, end the interaction with warmth and dignity. 

• Invite one sentence of appreciation or positive feedback between the siblings. 

• Move them into a short joint task, such as setting the table together. Children remember how a conflict ends; let it end with competence and care. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Islamic principles of Amanah (Trust) and respect for a person’s rights provide the ethical framework for property and boundaries within the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners…’ 

The Belonging as a Trust (Amanah) 

Teach your child that belongings—both their own and their sibling’s—are a form of trust. 

• Returning items promptly, asking before taking, and keeping promises are all part of honouring amanah. 

• When a child learns to handle these small trusts well, they prepare their heart for larger trusts in study, friendship, and worship. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour.’ 

The Inviolability of Property 

Use this Hadith as a family ethic: a sibling’s property is protected and inviolable. 

• Explain that taking without permission harms both trust and brotherhood. 

• Invite a simple intention before entering rooms or borrowing items: “For Allah, with respect, to keep trust.” 

• Link every successful ask-and-return to this Hadith so children feel the weight of dignity in their everyday actions. 

When your home pairs clear rules with calm restitution and a shared spiritual language of trust, sneaking loses its thrill. Your child discovers that being trusted feels better than being clever, and that respect for a sibling’s space is a small but real way of pleasing Allah Almighty.