What should I do when my child scribbles in another notebook? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child scribbles in a sibling or classmate’s notebook, it is important to address the behaviour calmly and constructively. This approach turns a moment of frustration into a valuable lesson about respect, consent, and responsibility. 

Name the Harm Calmly and Clearly 

Resist the urge to react with shock or sarcasm. Instead, walk over, place a gentle hand on the page, and say in a steady voice: ‘This notebook belongs to your sibling. Writing in it without permission damages their work and their trust’. This action names the behaviour and its impact without attacking the child’s identity. Calm clarity protects dignity while drawing a firm boundary. 

Treat It as a Skills Gap 

Children often mark on others’ pages due to impulse, curiosity, or a desire to be noticed. Frame the incident as a need to learn a skill, such as respecting property and seeking consent. Say, ‘You wanted to join in, but the way you tried caused harm. Next time, you can ask to contribute on a spare page or use your own book. This reframes from a “bad child” to a “better choice”. 

Restore the Owner’s Control 

Turn to the child whose notebook was marked and restore their sense of agency: ‘Your work matters. We will fix this’. Guide the offender to apologise, erase what is erasable, recopy any ruined section, and replace the notebook if necessary. The process should be practical and proportionate. Repair is a part of learning, not a public shaming. 

Create Alternatives for Collaboration 

Many of these incidents begin as clumsy bids for connection. Offer safe routes for them to join in, such as a shared notepad for ideas, sticky notes that can be removed, or a separate ‘group page’ agreed upon in advance. Teach the phrase, ‘May I add something on a sticky note?’ When respectful routes exist, the temptation to trespass loses its appeal. 

Set Visible Boundaries 

Make ownership concrete by labelling books clearly. Create distinct zones at home for belongings: ‘Private’, ‘Ask First’, and ‘Shared’. Post a simple family rule where work is done: ‘We write in our own books. We ask before touching someone else’s’. Younger siblings, in particular, need the rule to be seen as well as heard. 

Use Simple and Memorable Scripts 

Using short, consistent phrases keeps your response predictable and non-dramatic, which helps to build conscience over time. 

• ‘Pens on your own page unless you are invited.’ 

• ‘Ask first. If it is not a yes, it is a no.’ 

• ‘Repair follows harm. Then we move on.’ 

• ‘Respect for pages shows respect for people.’ 

Calibrate Consequences That Teach 

If the behaviour repeats, link access to responsibility. For example: ‘For two days, markers stay at the table and you may draw only on your paper. On the third day, you can earn back free use by asking permission three times in a row’. Predictable limits combined with a pathway to repair build self-control more effectively than heavy punishments. 

Strengthen Empathy and Ownership 

During a quiet moment, invite reflection: ‘How would you feel if someone scribbled over your neat maths page?’ Allow them time to answer. Then, link empathy to action: ‘Protect others’ pages the way you want yours to be protected’. Catch and praise the smallest success next time by saying, ‘You asked before writing. That was very respectful’. 

Spiritual Insight 

Qur’anic Guidance 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shua’raa (26), Verse 183: 

‘And do not confiscate from the people their (material) belongings (unjustly); and do not spread your (immoral) anarchy on the Earth.’ 

This ayah offers a powerful frame for family life: others’ property and work are their due right. A notebook page, and the effort it holds, belongs to its owner. Teaching a child to ask before writing is not mere etiquette; it is an act of justice. When you calmly insist on permission and fair repair, you are raising a child who honours what is due to others for the sake of Allah Almighty. 

Prophetic Wisdom 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1940, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever causes harm, Allah harms him, and whoever is harsh, Allah will be harsh with him.’ 

This hadith turns your boundary-setting into a spiritual compass. Scribbling in another’s book may seem small, but it is a form of harm that chips away at trust and effort. Explain gently: ‘Our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned us against harming others. We protect people’s work and belongings as an act of worship’. You can invite your child to perform a small act of kindness after repairing the damage, such as sharpening the sibling’s pencils. In this way, discipline becomes about dignity, and notebooks become lessons in Amanah (trust) and mercy.