Parenting Perspective 

Normalise the Behaviour and Reinforce Kindness 

It is important to remember that refusing to share is a normal developmental stage. Young children often see their toys as an extension of themselves, so the idea of giving one up can feel genuinely threatening. It is best to approach this as a teaching opportunity, not as a moral failure. Afterwards, praise any effort, even small ones: ‘I saw how you let your friend play with your car for a while—that was very kind.’ Over time, children learn that sharing feels rewarding. 

Prepare Before the Playdate 

A practical step is to prepare with your child before their friend arrives. Allow them to put away a few ‘special’ toys that are just for them and do not have to be shared. This gives them a sense of security and control. You can then explain that all the other toys are ‘sharing toys’ for everyone to enjoy together. This simple preparation can significantly reduce any anxiety around sharing. 

Guide Gently During the Playdate 

If a child still refuses to share, it is important to avoid forcing the issue or shaming them in front of their friend. Instead, a parent can gently guide the interaction: ‘Your friend would really like a turn. How about you play for two more minutes, and then we can swap?’ Using a timer can be very helpful here. If a conflict continues, it is often best to redirect both children to a different, more cooperative activity, like drawing. 

Spiritual Insight 

Generosity Builds a Successful Soul 

The Quran praises those who are generous and give preference to others even when they are in need. Learning to share is one of the earliest and most fundamental ways a child can be protected from stinginess, a quality that leads to success in the sight of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 9: 

‘…And giving preference over themselves, even though they were impecunious themselves; and whoever is salvaged from (the inherent state of) being miserly for himself, then they are the victorious.’ 

Sharing as an Act of Love 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a sign of true faith is wanting for others what you want for yourself. Sharing a beloved toy is a simple yet profound way for a child to practise this empathy and kindness. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.’ 

Gaining Joy Through Sharing 

By preparing in advance, guiding gently, and reinforcing positive behaviour, parents can teach their children how to share without feeling forced. They learn over time that sharing is not about losing a toy, but about gaining the joy of friendship and the reward of being close to Allah Almighty.