What should I do when my child hoards classroom jobs and upsets peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many schools use classroom jobs, such as being the line leader, board cleaner, or handing out books, to help build a sense of responsibility and teamwork. These roles can be very exciting for children, giving them a feeling of importance and belonging. However, some children can become overly attached to these jobs, rushing to claim them, refusing to share, or sulking if someone else is chosen. This behaviour can upset their peers and create conflict. As a parent, your role is to guide your child towards seeing these jobs as opportunities to serve the group, not as prizes to be hoarded. 

It is important to remember that this desire usually comes from natural feelings, such as pride in having a responsibility or a fear of being left out. Instead of shaming your child, you can approach the issue by teaching them balance: while responsibility is valuable, fairness and sharing are just as important. 

Talk About Fairness and Taking Turns 

Explain that classroom jobs belong to everyone in the class, not just to one person. You might say: ‘Helping in the classroom is a wonderful thing to do, but when you do not give other people a chance, they can feel left out. A true leader is someone who makes space for others, too.’ 

Teach Empathy for Their Peers 

Ask your child to imagine how they would feel if they never had a turn to do a special job. You could ask: ‘If someone else always took the job of board cleaner every single week, how would that make you feel?’ This kind of gentle reflection encourages empathy and helps them to see the situation from their classmates’ perspective. 

Offer Scripts for Sharing Roles 

You can equip your child with polite and confident ways to step back and share. 

• ‘You can take this turn, and I will do it next time.’ 

• ‘Shall we do this job together?’ 

• ‘I have already had a turn, so it is your turn now.’ 

Use Role-Play to Practise Letting Go 

At home, you can create scenarios where you ‘assign’ different jobs. This allows your child to practise responding gracefully when they do not get the role they want. This rehearsal helps them to learn how to manage their emotions in the real classroom environment. 

Model Leadership Through Service 

Children often think that leadership means being the first or the most visible person. You can show them that true leadership is about serving others. For example, at home, you could say: ‘I will let you pour the juice for your brother first today. That is how kind leaders act; they often put others before themselves.’ 

Praise Fairness, Not Just Helpfulness 

When you see your child willingly let someone else have a turn, praise that specific action: ‘I was so proud of how you stepped back and gave your classmate a chance to be the line leader today. That showed real maturity.’ 

Mini Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘But I love being the line leader. I do not want to miss my turn!’ 

Parent: ‘I know you enjoy it, and you are very good at it. But when you always take that job, other children miss out. A kind helper is someone who makes space for everyone. You will still get your turn to do it.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that any position of responsibility is a trust (amanah) and must be carried out with fairness and justice. Hoarding roles and denying others a chance to participate goes against the Islamic spirit of justice and humility. By connecting classroom jobs to these values, you can help your child to understand that sharing roles is not a loss, but a way of practising their faith. 

Leadership as a Form of Trust 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice; indeed, the enlightened direction to you from Allah (Almighty) is (a beneficial) endowment; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is All Hearing and All Seeing.’ 

This verse shows us that all trusts, no matter how small, must be handled with justice. You can explain: ‘When you are given a classroom job, it is like a small trust from Allah. Being just means making sure that other people get to have a turn, too.’ 

The Virtue of Putting Others First 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2442, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfils the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs; whoever relieves a Muslim from distress, Allah will relieve him from distress on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

For a child, this can be simplified: ‘When you let your classmate have a turn at a job, you are relieving their sadness of feeling left out. And when you do that, Allah promises to help you in your own time of need.’ 

By linking fairness in the classroom to the principles of justice and compassion in Islam, you teach your child that true responsibility is not about being first every time. It is about fairness, empathy, and service. Over time, they will learn that stepping back gracefully is just as valuable as stepping up, and that both bring them closer to Allah.