What should I do when my child hides their feelings from me? 

Parenting Perspective 

Create a Safe Space for Honesty 

When your child hides their feelings, it can be worrying and sometimes hurtful for a parent who wants to help. Children often conceal what they feel because they may fear being told off, feel embarrassed about big emotions, or worry that you will be upset too. Instead of demanding that they open up, focus first on making your home feel like a safe place for honesty. Show them through your actions that you can listen without judgement or lectures. Use gentle check-ins during calm moments rather than asking sudden questions when they are already upset. Sometimes a child may find it easier to talk when you are doing something together, like drawing, cooking, or going for a short walk.

Model Openness and Build Trust 

It helps to share small parts of your own feelings in simple ways. You might say, ‘I felt worried today, but talking about it helped me feel better.’ This models that feelings are normal and not something to hide. Notice and praise any honest sharing. If your child admits they feel sad, thank them for trusting you instead of brushing it aside. Be patient if they hold things in at first. Sometimes writing or drawing can be an easier way for them to share. You could keep a feelings box where they can drop in notes when they do not want to speak out loud. By building this gentle bridge, you show them that you care about what is inside, not just how they behave on the outside. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, a parent’s care for their child’s inner world is a sacred trust. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed mercy and patience even with those who hid their feelings out of fear or shame. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 25: 

‘…And He is fully aware of everything that you do‘

This verse comforts us that even when our words stay hidden, Allah Almighty knows every thought and feeling in our hearts. Your calm presence and steady kindness can teach your child that they do not have to hide from you or from their Creator. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective. ‘

Gentleness softens the barriers that make children keep things inside. Remind your child that nothing they feel is too heavy for Allah Almighty to understand. You can teach them a simple Dua to whisper when feelings feel too big to share, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help me open my heart.’ Over time, your patience and warm listening become a safe space where your child learns that their feelings do not need to stay hidden. This steady trust brings your hearts closer and keeps your home full of mercy and light.