Parenting Perspective 

It is disheartening to see one child start to imitate a sibling’s disrespectful behaviour, such as eye-rolling or talking back. Sibling dynamics can be complex, and when negative traits are mirrored, it can feel like a direct challenge to your authority. However, this is a prime opportunity to guide both children towards more respectful and empathetic ways of communicating. Rather than reacting with frustration, you can use this as a teaching moment to reinforce core family values. 

Acknowledge the Behaviour Without Escalating 

When you witness disrespectful imitation, it is important to address it calmly and immediately. An escalated response will likely intensify the defiance, whereas a firm and collected approach will be more effective. 

• Stay Calm and Address It Clearly: Acknowledge the specific behaviour without raising your voice. For instance, ‘I just saw you roll your eyes at your brother. That is not a respectful way to communicate with family.’ 

• Explain the Impact of Disrespect: Help your child understand that disrespectful gestures are not harmless. You might say, ‘When we roll our eyes or use a dismissive tone, it makes the other person feel unimportant, and that is hurtful.’ 

Teach Respect and Empathy 

Use this incident as a chance to actively teach the principles of considerate communication. The goal is to move beyond simply stopping the negative behaviour to building positive skills. 

• Model Respectful Communication: The most powerful lesson is your own example. Consistently speak to your children and others with kindness and calm, especially during disagreements. They will learn that respect is the most effective form of communication. 

• Help Them Express Frustration Constructively: Provide your child with the words to use when they feel upset. You could suggest, ‘If you are feeling frustrated with what your sister is saying, it is better to say, “I disagree,” or “I need a moment,” instead of using a gesture that hurts her feelings.’ 

• Teach Empathy: Encourage your child to consider the other person’s feelings. Ask a simple question like, ‘How would you feel if someone rolled their eyes at you when you were trying to talk?’ This helps them develop genuine consideration for others. 

Reinforce Positive Behaviour 

Positive reinforcement is key to solidifying respectful habits. Actively look for and praise good communication. 

• Praise Effort and Improvement: When you notice your child choosing a respectful response over a disrespectful one, acknowledge it. Saying, ‘I saw that you were getting frustrated, but you spoke very kindly. I am proud of you for that,’ reinforces the positive choice. 

• Set Clear Boundaries: Reiterate that disrespect is not acceptable in your home, but always frame it with an opportunity for growth. For example, ‘I expect respectful communication, and I will always support you when you make an effort to be kind.’ 

Address Sibling Dynamics 

If one sibling’s behaviour is consistently a negative influence, it is important to address their relationship directly. 

• Encourage Healthy Sibling Relationships: Create opportunities for your children to support one another and work as a team. Frame their relationship as one of mutual upliftment. You could suggest, ‘Instead of mocking your sibling, try to understand their point of view.’ 

By addressing disrespect directly, consistently modelling respect, and fostering empathy, you can help your children build a positive and supportive relationship with each other and the rest of the family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that all forms of mockery and disrespect are harmful and contrary to the spirit of a healthy community, especially within a family. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘…Do not let a nation ridicule another nation…’ 

This verse is a direct prohibition against any behaviour, including gestures like eye-rolling, that belittles or insults another person. It reminds us that preserving each other’s dignity is a fundamental aspect of our faith. 

Our actions and words should always aim to promote harmony and brotherhood, not division and hurt. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6064, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not hate one another, nor be jealous of one another. Be you, O slaves of Allah, brothers.’ 

This hadith teaches that fostering a spirit of brotherhood is a command. Disrespectful gestures and words erode that spirit. By guiding our children to treat each other with kindness, we are not just teaching good manners; we are teaching them to fulfil a core tenet of their faith, building a foundation of compassion that will serve them throughout their lives.