Parenting Perspective 

When a child changes their story to fit in with their friends, it often comes from a desire to belong, not from an intent to deceive. Your role as a parent is to guide them towards authenticity, while still acknowledging their need for acceptance. 

Understand the Need Behind the Behaviour 

Instead of labelling your child a liar, try to understand the motivation behind the story. Let them know that you understand the desire to be accepted by friends, but explain that true friendship is built on honesty, not on pretending to be someone you are not. 

Teach the Value of Being Genuine 

Explain to your child, ‘Real friends will like you for who you are, not for a story you have made up.’ You can role-play different social situations at home, giving them practical and honest phrases to use when they feel pressured to exaggerate. This equips them with alternatives to making things up. 

Celebrate Their True Self at Home 

Make a special effort to praise your child for their real accomplishments and unique qualities. When a child feels secure and valued for who they are at home, they will feel less of a need to seek approval from peers by telling false stories. This builds a foundation of confidence that allows them to be their authentic self. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Mix Truth with Falsehood 

Islam teaches that truthfulness is a source of dignity. The Quran explicitly commands believers not to mix truth with falsehood or to conceal the truth, reminding us that honesty should never be compromised to please others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 42: 

‘And do not mix the truth with falsehood, and do not conceal the truth, and you are fully aware (of what you are doing).‘ 

Truthfulness Leads to Paradise 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the consistent practice of telling the truth, even in small matters, is what shapes a person’s character and ultimately leads them to Paradise. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person.’ 

Honesty Builds Stronger Friendships 

By helping your child to see that honesty is both pleasing to Allah and the foundation of true friendship, you empower them to be authentic. They will learn over time that being trusted and respected for who they really are is far more valuable than simply fitting in.