What should I do when my child blames others to cover up their mistake? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be frustrating when a child shifts blame onto others, but this behaviour often stems from a fear of getting into trouble. The best response is calm, steady guidance that helps them to see the value in taking responsibility for their own actions. 

Stay Calm and Separate the Action from the Child 

Instead of reacting with anger, listen patiently and avoid immediate accusations. A calm tone gives your child space to reflect. It is important to communicate that making a mistake is a normal part of learning, but blaming others is not an acceptable response. Reassure them that they are loved even when they make mistakes. 

Teach Accountability Step-by-Step 

Gently guide your child to reflect on their role in what happened. You can ask simple questions like, ‘What happened just before the glass fell?’ or ‘What could we do differently next time to be more careful?’ This encourages self-awareness without resorting to shame. 

Model Responsibility and Build Trust 

Children learn best from what they see. By openly admitting your own small mistakes—’I made a mess in the kitchen, it is my job to clean it up’—you show that accountability is a normal and respected trait. This helps your child to see responsibility as a strength, not something to fear, and teaches them that honesty builds trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

We are Accountable for Every Deed 

Islam teaches that every individual is responsible for their own actions before Allah. Blaming others may seem easier in the moment, but the Quran reminds us that each person will be held accountable for their own deeds, no matter how small. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7-8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement).’ 

We Will Be Asked About Our Flock 

This powerful hadith reminds us that responsibility is an essential part of life and a sacred trust. Just as a shepherd is responsible for their flock, we are all responsible for our own duties and cannot pass that accountability onto others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

Accountability as a Sign of Faith 

By calmly guiding your child to accept their mistakes and linking this to their faith, you help them to grow into an honest and responsible person. Over time, they will learn that accountability strengthens both their character and their relationship with Allah.