Parenting Perspective 

It is natural to feel worn down by the prospect of a tantrum, and the temptation to give in often comes from a simple desire for peace. However, giving in can teach a child that shouting is an effective way to get what they want. This can create a cycle where tantrums become more frequent. The best way forward is to remain calm and firm, showing your child that while their feelings are heard, the rule itself will not change. 

Acknowledge Feelings Without Surrendering 

You can start by calmly acknowledging your child’s feelings. For example: ‘I know you are very upset because you want the toy, but the rule is no more toys before bedtime.’ This validates your child’s emotions and helps them feel understood, even while you continue to uphold the boundary. It shows them that you are not dismissing their feelings, only the behaviour. 

Hold the Limit Kindly but Firmly 

It is crucial to remain consistent without becoming harsh. If your toddler is screaming for sweets, do not get drawn into an argument or start making threats. Instead, you can simply remove the sweets from sight and restate the rule in a few, clear words: ‘Sweets are for after dinner.’ Your steady, neutral tone is far more effective than an angry one. 

Stay Present Through the Tantrum 

Sometimes, the most effective strategy during a tantrum is simply to remain physically near your child without giving in, allowing them to release their big feelings in a safe space. Your calm presence sends a powerful message: that your boundaries are steady, but your love and support for them are unwavering. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that consistency and patience are profound acts of strength, especially when we are faced with emotional tests. Just as Allah guides us with steady and unwavering principles for our own benefit, parents are similarly entrusted to guide their children with both mercy and firmness. 

Success Through Patience and Endurance 

The Quran reminds us that persevering through struggles, including the daily tests of parenting, is a key to long-term success and peace. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 200: 

‘ O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful.‘ 

The True Definition of Strength 

The prophetic tradition teaches that true parental strength is not shown by overpowering a child during a tantrum, but by calmly maintaining self-control and holding the limit with dignity. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes others by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

By staying firm yet gentle during a tantrum, you are reflecting the Islamic values of patience and truth. Your child learns that while their emotions are valid, rules are steady, and that your love and guidance are always present alongside your discipline.