What should I do when I catch myself scrolling during bonding moments with my child? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is an unsettling feeling to look up from your phone and realise you have been mentally absent while your child was right there, needing your attention. The key in that moment is not to spiral into guilt, but to respond quickly and consciously to repair the rupture. 

Pause, Put It Down, and Re-engage 

The very moment you catch yourself scrolling, that is the moment to act. Physically put your device down, make warm eye contact with your child, and consciously re-enter the present moment. A simple, sincere, ‘I am sorry, my love. I am here now,’ can repair the connection in an instant. The speed of your return to them is what matters most. 

Acknowledge Briefly and Sincerely 

You do not need to offer a lengthy, guilt-ridden apology. A brief, honest acknowledgement of your slip-up, immediately followed by a shift in your focus back to them, is far more effective. This prevents the moment from becoming about your feelings of guilt, and keeps it focused on meeting your child’s need for your attention. 

Create a Gentle Visual Reminder 

To help reduce these lapses over time, you can create a gentle visual cue for yourself in the spaces where you spend the most time with your child. This could be a small family photo placed near your favourite chair or a handwritten note on the fridge that says ‘Be Present’. This acts as a quiet, external prompt to check if your attention is where it matters most. 

True bonding is not about achieving a state of perfect, unbroken presence, but about the sincerity of our repeated returns to connection. Every time you consciously choose your child over the scroll, you strengthen their trust and your bond. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense value on being fully present and mindful in the moments that matter, whether in our worship or in our relationships. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verses 1–2: 

‘Indeed, success is for the believers; Those people who are focused in their prayers with true humility…’ 

This verse highlights that khushu a state of deep, humble, and submissive focus is a primary quality of successful believers. This principle of being present with a full heart extends beyond prayer and into our most important relationships. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2319, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy to our children is not one of us.’ 

This teaches us that true mercy (rahmah) is not just a feeling but an action, and one of its most important expressions is the gift of our full, compassionate attention. By catching yourself when you are distracted, gently correcting your course, and giving your child your undivided presence, you are practising the same mindfulness and humility that Islam encourages in all aspects of life.