What Should I Do When I Cannot Deliver a Promised Reward? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Broken Promises 

When a promised reward does not materialise, children can feel deeply disappointed and even become mistrustful. What may seem like a small oversight to a parent can feel like a significant letdown to a child who was waiting eagerly. Repeatedly breaking promises can weaken a child’s confidence in their parent’s word, so handling these situations correctly is vital. 

Acknowledge the Mistake with Honesty 

The first step is to acknowledge the failure openly. Saying something like, ‘I know I promised you this, but I have not been able to arrange it, and for that, I am truly sorry’, models both honesty and accountability. This simple act teaches the child that promises are not meaningless, even when they cannot always be kept. Children often learn more from how we repair our mistakes than from an unrealistic expectation of perfection. 

Offer a Sincere Alternative 

Making amends does not mean you must scramble to offer an even bigger or better prize. Instead, the focus should be on demonstrating that you care about their feelings. You could reschedule the reward for a specific future date, suggest a suitable alternative that is within your means, or simply offer a gesture of connection, such as extra story time or a walk together. By following through in some way, you rebuild trust and validate their feelings, showing them that they are important even when circumstances change. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Duty of Fulfilling Commitments 

In Islam, fulfilling one’s promises is a significant moral duty. This principle is not only about maintaining good character but is a core part of faith itself. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 34: 

‘…And fulfil all your promises, as indeed, you will be questioned about all the promises that you have made (in this life).’ 

This verse highlights that keeping one’s word is not merely about earthly relationships; it is a matter of profound accountability before Allah Almighty. Therefore, when a promise cannot be kept, the path of faith requires honesty and a sincere effort to make amends. 

The Prophetic Example of Integrity 

The character of a believer is measured by their integrity, and promise-keeping is a clear sign of this. We are warned against taking this matter lightly. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6095, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; whenever he makes a promise, he breaks it; and whenever he is entrusted, he betrays.’ 

Parents can use these moments as a valuable lesson, teaching children that while mistakes happen, a person of faith always strives to repair trust rather than ignore the harm caused. By modelling accountability and sincerity, parents not only mend the immediate situation but also guide their children towards developing the noble qualities of honesty and reliability in their own lives.