What should I do when club leaders report the same disrespect each week? 

Parenting Perspective 

When club leaders repeatedly report that your child is being disrespectful, by talking back, ignoring instructions, or disturbing others, it can leave you feeling both embarrassed and powerless. You may wonder why the reminders and consequences you have put in place at home do not seem to work. When the same behaviour repeats in a group setting, it usually signals a gap between a child’s understanding of respect and their feeling of connection to authority. The goal is not only to stop the behaviour, but to help your child to internalise respect as a part of their identity, not just as a reaction to punishment. 

Seek to Understand Before You React 

Start by asking open ended questions in a calm tone. 

‘What has been happening at the club? What do you find difficult about following the leader’s instructions?’ 

This approach moves the conversation from one of accusation to one of reflection. You may uncover that your child feels criticised, bored, overshadowed by their peers, or is unsure of how to handle being corrected. When children feel misunderstood, they often use disrespect as a shield against embarrassment. Understanding the reason for the behaviour is the first step toward change. 

Revisit the True Meaning of Respect 

Children sometimes equate respect with simple obedience, but true respect is about valuing the role that others play. You can explain this to your child by saying: 

‘Respect is not about fear. It is about recognising when someone has given their time to help you. Even when you do not agree with them, you can still show kindness in the way that you respond.’ 

Model a respectful tone and body language yourself. Children learn respect by watching it in action far more than by hearing about it in lectures. 

Practise Repair, Not Just Repetition 

If the behaviour has already damaged the relationship with a club leader, guide your child on how to repair it directly. 

‘I am sorry for interrupting during practice. I will do better next time.’ 

Writing a short note or apologising face to face helps them to practise accountability, not because you are forcing them to, but because they are learning the dignity of taking responsibility for their actions. Repairing a relationship helps to build maturity more deeply than repeated consequences ever could. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, respect, or adab, toward those who teach, guide, or lead is a sign of humility and good character. It reflects a believer’s awareness that every position of guidance deserves to be honoured, not because of the status of the person, but because of the responsibility that Allah Almighty has placed upon them. 

The Virtue of Good Conduct in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably; whether one of them or both of them reach old age in your lifetime; then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.’ 

Although this verse specifically addresses how one should treat one’s parents, it teaches the broader principle of noble speech. It shows that respect is demonstrated through a gentleness of tone and a restraint in one’s words. Helping your child to practise this with their club leaders is a part of nurturing that same spiritual etiquette of measured and dignified communication. 

Guidance on Manners in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2002, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Nothing will weigh heavier on the believer’s scale on the Day of Resurrection than good character. Indeed, Allah detests those who are foul and obscene in speech.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that good manners are not minor details; they are spiritual assets. Teaching your child to speak respectfully to adults is more than just social training; it is a preparation for their accountability before Allah Almighty. Disrespect, no matter how small, weighs upon the heart, while good character raises a person’s standing, both in their faith and in their community. 

When the same disrespect is reported week after week, your calm persistence becomes the most powerful example. By pairing empathy with firmness, and correction with reflection, you can help your child to build the foundation of true adab, respect that flows from self awareness, not from fear. Spiritually, every time you guide your child with patience, you mirror the quality of prophetic gentleness.