What should I do when ‘banter’ turns into hurtful teasing? 

Parenting Perspective 

Recognizing the Shift 

Banter between siblings or friends often begins as light-hearted fun, but it can quickly cross the line into hurtful teasing. When this happens, a child may feel humiliated, angry, or resentful, even if the other insists it was “just a joke.” As a parent, your role is to teach them where the boundary lies and to intervene before playful teasing becomes damaging. 

Naming the Boundary 

You should address the situation calmly but clearly. Say, “That is no longer funny; it is hurtful.” By labelling the shift, you help both children recognise that humour must stop where harm begins. 

You should then guide them toward empathy. Ask the child who was teasing, “How would you feel if someone said that to you?” This encourages them to consider the other person’s perspective, which is crucial for preventing future hurtful banter. 

Teaching Alternatives 

You should also teach them to rephrase their words. Encourage humour that brings laughter without targeting someone’s weaknesses. If necessary, you can redirect their energy into a shared activity or a game that rebuilds their positive connection. 

By handling banter firmly but without shaming, you protect your child’s dignity while teaching them that kindness must be the boundary for all humour. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse reminds us that mockery or hurtful teasing is forbidden in Islam, as it erodes respect and unity within the community. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1574, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother.’ 

This teaches us those belittling others, even in jest, is spiritually harmful and damages the bond of brotherhood. 

When you step in to stop hurtful teasing, you show your children that Islam honours dignity above entertainment. They learn that jokes are welcome only when they uplift, not when they wound. This helps them carry respect, empathy, and compassion into all their relationships, both inside and outside the home.