What should I do if they repeat phrases like “I don’t care” they picked up? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be disheartening when your child starts repeating dismissive phrases like ‘I do not care’, especially when they have copied it from peers or media. While your child may not fully grasp the weight of these words, they send a message of indifference that can damage relationships and undermine respect. Your role is to address this habit with gentle firmness, showing your child that while their feelings are valid, dismissive words are not acceptable. 

Why Children Repeat Such Phrases 

Understanding the motivation behind the phrase helps you to correct the behaviour without shaming the child. They often repeat it because: 

• They have heard it used casually and assume it is a normal way to respond. 

• They believe it makes them sound confident, detached, or bold. 

• They enjoy the strong reaction it can provoke from adults or siblings. 

Make Your Standard Clear 

When your child says, ‘I do not care’, respond calmly but firmly to set a clear boundary. 

‘In our family, we do not use words that dismiss others’ feelings. If you are feeling upset or do not agree, you need to say it in a better way.’ 

This communicates that the phrase is not tolerated, while still inviting them to express themselves constructively. 

Teach Respectful Alternatives 

Offer your child specific phrases that acknowledge their feelings without being dismissive. 

• ‘I am feeling upset right now.’ 

• ‘I do not agree with that, but I will listen.’ 

• ‘I need some space to think, please.’ 

By giving them these replacement phrases, you empower them to communicate honestly but with respect. 

Avoid Overreacting 

If you respond with anger or a lengthy lecture, the phrase may become an effective tool for gaining attention. Instead, keep your tone calm, correct the language, and redirect them towards more respectful communication. 

Reinforce Better Choices 

When your child avoids using dismissive words and instead chooses a respectful way to express their frustration, acknowledge it. 

‘I really liked how you told me you needed some space instead of just saying you did not care. That shows real maturity.’ 

Over time, this positive reinforcement makes respectful speech feel more rewarding than careless words. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that believers should use words that build connection and compassion, not phrases that dismiss or hurt. Guiding children to avoid careless and indifferent speech is a way of nurturing humility and sincerity in their hearts. 

Choosing our words carefully is a command from Allah, as careless speech can open the door to conflict. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘ And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them…’ 

This verse reminds us that dismissive words like ‘I do not care’ can create discord, whereas choosing the “best” words protects and strengthens our relationships. 

Good character is reflected not only in our major actions but also in the way we speak to others every day. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, among the best of you are those best in character.’ 

This hadith teaches that excellence of character is a hallmark of a true believer. By guiding your child away from repeating dismissive phrases, you are not only correcting a bad habit but also nurturing their faith and manners. They learn that their words carry weight and that true strength lies in expressing oneself with dignity and kindness.