Parenting Perspective 

When a child expresses anger by using hurtful words such as I hate you or You are the worst, it can be quite distressing. These outbursts frequently conceal deeper emotions such as helplessness, fear, or shame. Young children often use strong words without fully understanding their meanings, while older children might push limits or struggle to articulate complex feelings. 

In a difficult situation, calmly state: That language was damaging. It seems you are experiencing strong feelings at this moment. We can discuss this when you are feeling well again. This method safeguards your emotional limits while demonstrating emotional maturity. 

After things have settled down, talk about it thoughtfully. Assist your child in identifying their emotions and finding more effective ways to communicate. Instructing them on how to express feelings respectfully, through techniques such as role-playing or visual tools, provides valuable life skills. The aim is not just to stop the behaviour but to foster emotional understanding. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who, wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “peace be unto you”. ‘

This verse encourages us to react to challenges with grace and calmness, a quality children can only acquire if they see it consistently demonstrated by those they rely on. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1977, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The believer does not insult the honour of others, nor curse, nor commit Fahishah, nor is he foul. ‘

This Hadith sets a clear guideline for how we should communicate. Use it as an opportunity to reflect with your child, focusing on shared values rather than punishment. Teaching them a simple Dua, such as Allahumma aslih li sha’ni kullahu (O Allah, set all my affairs right offers both connection and a spiritual foundation for emotional repair.)