Parenting Perspective 

Create a Safe Space for Honesty 

When a child hides their mistakes, it is often because they associate taking responsibility with being punished. The first step is to create an environment where honesty is met with calmness, not anger. If your child admits to a mistake, your very first response should be to praise their courage: ‘Thank you for being honest with me, that was a brave thing to do.’ Only after affirming their truthfulness should you calmly discuss how to solve the problem. 

Shift the Focus from Fear to Growth 

Explain that making mistakes is a normal part of life, but what matters is how we respond to them. Model this by sharing your own small errors: ‘I forgot to buy milk today, so I will have to go back to the shop. That was my mistake.’ This demonstrates that taking responsibility is a normal, healthy part of life, not something shameful. When you praise even their smallest steps towards accountability, they learn over time that honesty leads to support, not just punishment. 

Nurture Honesty, Resilience, and Security 

By removing fear and reframing responsibility as a path to growth, you help your child become more honest, resilient, and secure. This builds their confidence to own their actions without feeling overwhelmed by the fear of consequences. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Despair of Allah’s Mercy 

Islam teaches that Allah’s mercy is vast and always available to those who turn back to Him. This beautiful verse from the Quran reminds us that no matter the mistake, we should never despair, because the door to forgiveness is always open. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘ 

The Best Who Err are Those Who Repent 

The prophetic tradition reminds us that making mistakes is a natural part of the human condition. True excellence lies not in being perfect, but in having the humility to repent and seek to do better after we have erred. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 409, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All the children of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent often.’ 

Accountability Invites Mercy 

When you teach your child that taking accountability invites mercy both from their family and from Allah you transform responsibility from something to be feared into an act that nurtures trust, growth, and spiritual strength.