What should I do if both parents react angrily in front of the child?
Managing Parental Conflict In Front of Your Child
When both parents show anger openly in front of a child, it can lead to confusion, distress, or fear for the child. When children are under the age of 10, witnessing two adults they trust losing their composure can negatively affect how safe they feel emotionally. Young people might take in the conflict or copy those patterns in how they communicate.
Parenting Perspective
Addressing the Immediate Situation
While it is common for parents to disagree, it is important to handle these disagreements in a way that is appropriate for children to witness. The initial action is to halt the discussion immediately and consent to revisit it in a private setting. Later, recognise the situation clearly but kindly: ‘You observed that we were quite distressed. We are addressing the issue in a composed manner.’ This helps the child understand that disagreements are not something to be embarrassed about, but they should be managed in a responsible way.
Repairing the Environment and Building Resilience
Following the incident, both parents can stabilise the home environment through straightforward actions: taking a moment of silence together, providing comfort to the child, or gently re-establishing the day’s routine. If the child seems to be impacted, encourage them to share their thoughts or feelings by talking, drawing, or moving around. As time goes on, this process builds emotional strength and shows that staying calm and resolving conflicts are important skills in life. When parents demonstrate how to fix problems and manage their emotions, they create a stable environment, even if errors occur.
Spiritual Insight
The Importance of Reconciliation
Allah Almighty states in Surah Al Hujuraat (49) Verse 10:
‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy. ‘
This verse underscores the importance of reconciliation.
The Value of Consistent, Righteous Deeds
It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4237 that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated:
‘…And the most beloved of deeds to him was a righteous deed which a person persists in doing, even if it is something small. ‘
When both parents seek to lower their tone, apologise, and reconnect after tension, it becomes an act of Rahmah and humility. A useful reflection to share and model might be: Allahumma aslih dhati baynina, (O Allah, reconcile what is between us). This gentle reminder reframes parental repair as an act of devotion, helping children internalise that love, patience, and responsibility belong at the heart of family life.