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What should I avoid saying during correction if I want to protect my child’s emotional dignity? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Labelling Language 

Disciplining a child involves more than just correcting them; it also shapes their identity. Some words, frequently used out of annoyance, can cause permanent damage. Avoid using terms that define the child rather than address the problem, such as You are selfish. Avoid comparisons that undermine one’s sense of self-worth and foster sibling rivalry. Threats like I will leave you here or sarcastic remarks like Great job ruining the day may seem momentary, but they fracture trust and invite shame, not self-awareness. 

An Alternative Approach: Correcting the Behaviour 

Rather, make sure your statements are supported by beliefs and facts. Instead of saying, You are unkind, say, That was unkind. Fix the behaviour without making the person feel less valuable. children absorb not only what is said, but also how it is said. Your emotional presence, word choice, and tone all must convey that you are still worthy even when you make mistakes. Their inner voice incorporates that message. Protecting their emotional dignity is not softness; it is long-term strength-building. You are not instilling a dread of failure in your children. You are nurturing a person who develops, learns, and experiences love throughout their life. 

Spiritual Insight 

When guiding people, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was stern but never unkind. He never insulted; he corrected clearly. He used language that upheld dignity and opened hearts even when people made basic mistakes. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1977, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

A believer is not a slanderer, nor does he curse, nor is he obscene or foul.” 

A fundamental principle of Islamic character is reflected in this Hadith: a believer’s words have power and should never be used to embarrass, degrade, or cause harm. Allah Almighty also reminds us of the inherent honour granted to every human. In Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70, He states: 

Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam…” 

When a child errs, this divine honour is not suspended. It still exists, and even when we are correcting someone, we are expected to talk with the same honour. The prophetic approach is to discipline a child without depriving them of their sense of value. It teaches that humiliation is not necessary for accountability. It demonstrates that love can accompany even strict direction. Allow your words to contribute to your child’s recovery rather than their suffering. By doing this, you are creating a heart that trusts, reflects, and develops in light rather than merely dealing with misbehaviour. 

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