Parenting Perspective 

Arguments often arise quickly at home, whether between siblings or between parent and child. In those heated seconds, a small pause can help everyone remember their manners and bring the situation back under control. Children especially need a simple, repeatable step they can use in the moment rather than a long lecture. 

Use a Shared Signal 

Agree on a family signal that means “pause.” It could be a gentle raised hand, tapping the table, or even saying the word “Adab.” When anyone gives the signal, the rule is that voices stop for just a few seconds. This creates a break before words escalate. 

Anchor the Pause with Breath or Words 

During the pause, encourage everyone to take one deep breath together or quietly say “Bismillah.” Linking the pause to a calming action stops it from feeling awkward and reminds children that manners are tied to remembering Allah Almighty. 

Resume with Softer Voices 

After the pause, guide children to restart the conversation calmly: ‘Let us try again but this time with respect.’ The habit of pausing helps them realise that tone and manner are choices, not just reactions. 

Over time, the pause becomes a family habit that interrupts arguments before they grow and reminds children that good Adab is expected even when they are upset. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense value on self-restraint and speaking with dignity. A short pause before continuing in anger is not just good manners; it is an act of worship when done for the sake of Allah Almighty. 

Qur’an Guidance 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This reminds us that true believers respond to harshness with calmness and restraint, modelling respect even under pressure. 

Hadith Reminder 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who throws others down, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

This teaches us that pausing before reacting in anger is a mark of real strength and discipline. 

When parents train their children to pause before arguments, they are teaching more than just politeness. They are instilling the Islamic value of controlling anger, showing that good Adab is not a formality but a reflection of faith and character. This small habit can transform conflict into an opportunity for growth, mercy, and respect.