Parenting Perspective 

With mobile phones in every hand, it is easy for a child or another relative to suggest recording or posting a private moment between a couple, often ‘just for fun’. While the intention may be innocent, these recordings risk crossing important boundaries of privacy, modesty, and dignity. Having a clear and gentle script allows you to decline without causing embarrassment, while also teaching your children that respect and intimacy should always come before sharing things online. 

Equip Yourself With Respectful Phrases to Decline 

Use short, warm, and firm responses that set a clear boundary without being harsh. 

• ‘That moment is just for us, not for the camera.’ 

• ‘We like to keep our private time private. Some things are too special to share.’ 

• ‘We would rather remember this with our hearts than on a phone.’ 

Explain the Principle Without Shaming 

For children, you can add a gentle teaching line to your refusal. You could say, ‘Not everything in life needs to be recorded. Some moments are meant to stay just between family, and that is what makes them precious’. This frames your refusal as a positive value, not as a rejection of their suggestion. 

Model Consistency 

If you allow a recording one time but refuse the next, it can be confusing for children and may encourage them to push the boundary again. Keeping your message consistent reinforces the idea that your privacy as a couple is a non-negotiable boundary. 

Redirect Towards Appropriate Memory-Making 

Offer positive alternatives that are suitable for sharing. For example, ‘How about we take a nice family photo at the park later instead?’. This shows that you are not against making memories, but are simply protecting certain moments from being public. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places an extremely high value on the concept of ḥayā’ (modesty) and on safeguarding a family’s privacy. Protecting the intimacy of a couple from public exposure is not just a matter of wisdom but is also an act of faith. 

A Quranic Reminder on Modesty and Privacy 

The Quran commands both men and women to guard their modesty, a principle which extends to how we share moments from our private lives with others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 30-31: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) to the believing men to lower their gaze (upon forbidden things); and protect their private parts (with chastity)… And say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) to the women who are believers; to lower their gaze (upon forbidden things); and protect their private parts (with chastity)…‘ 

This reminds us that modesty and privacy are essential Islamic values for both men and women. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Marital Secrets 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned in the strongest terms against exposing the private and intimate details of a marriage. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1437, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Among the people most evil in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who goes to his wife and she to him, then he spreads her secret.’ 

This teaches us that exposing private marital moments is a grave violation of a sacred trust. 

By refusing to have your private moments as a couple videoed or posted online, you are modelling dignity, modesty, and respect. Your children learn that marriage is sacred and that not everything is for public consumption. They come to understand that some bonds are protected by privacy as an act of love and obedience to Allah.