Parenting Perspective 

Family and in-law WhatsApp groups can be a wonderful way to stay connected, but they often come with an expectation of constant responses. If left unchecked, these groups can quietly intrude on the precious few moments a couple has to reconnect at the end of a long day. A firm but respectful rule can help to preserve balance, allowing you to show love to your extended family without sacrificing your marriage bond. 

Set a Digital Curfew Together 

As a couple, agree that after a certain time each evening, such as after dinner, WhatsApp notifications will be muted. You can still catch up on messages later, but your time together as a couple will not be constantly interrupted by every ping and notification. 

Use Delayed Responses as a Standard Practice 

Create a joint understanding that you will both answer messages within a reasonable time frame, such as the next morning, rather than instantly. If needed, you can share this gently with your relatives: ‘We usually switch off in the evenings for family time, but we will respond as soon as we can’. This sets healthy expectations without causing conflict. 

Keep One Device-Free Window 

Dedicate at least one short block of time every day, whether it is a walk together or a cup of tea after the children are in bed, where phones are put aside completely. This is not about ignoring your extended family, but about actively protecting the intimacy and connection in your own home. 

Model a Balanced Approach for Your Children 

When your children see you choosing to be present with people rather than with your phone, they learn that real-life relationships matter more than screens. This small, consistent choice becomes a powerful lesson for them in setting their own priorities as they grow. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches a balance between fulfilling the rights of all family members. This includes honouring parents and relatives, while also protecting the rights of one’s spouse. The marital bond is a sacred trust (amānah), and taking steps to preserve it is an act of worship. 

A Quranic Reminder on Marital Tranquillity 

The Quran reminds us that marriage was created by Allah as a source of tranquillity, affection, and mercy. This peace must be actively protected and nurtured. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘ And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness…’ 

This reminds us that tranquillity in a marriage thrives when it is given time and presence. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Honouring Your Spouse 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a person’s excellence in faith is demonstrated by how well they treat their own family, particularly their spouse. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.’ 

This teaches us that excellence in Islam is shown by prioritising kindness and presence with one’s spouse. 

By limiting WhatsApp during your time as a couple, you are honouring the rights of both your extended family and your marriage. Your children learn from this example that technology should serve our relationships, not the other way around, and that guarding the bond between parents is a vital part of safeguarding the home.