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What role does connection and attention play in reducing tantrums?

Parenting Perspective

When children feel a strong bond with their carers, they are more inclined to cooperate and handle frustration effectively. Tantrums frequently rise when a child experiences feelings of disconnection, neglect, or being overwhelmed. Consistent and attentive care provides your child with a sense of security and emotional stability. This does not take a lot of time; instead, it needs brief, consistent periods of focused attention throughout the day. A child who feels heard is less likely to raise their emotions to get attention. By incorporating shared routines, short one-on-one check-ins, and loving yet firm boundaries into daily life, you may notice fewer outbursts. Connection differs from indulgence; it involves demonstrating to the child that they are recognised and appreciated, even while boundaries are maintained. By nurturing this emotional connection, you lessen the emotional burden that can lead to outbursts.

Spiritual Insight

In Islam, deep and attentive care reflects divine Mercy. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 128: ‘Without any doubt, there has come to you (O mankind), the Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ) from amongst yourself; (the thought) of your suffering weighs heavily upon him, he is extremely desirous (for the best) for you; and remains most compassionate and most merciful for the believers.’ The emotional attentiveness of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is a model for parents. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, respect our elders, and command good and forbid evil’ Providing attention and connection to a child is not about being overly lenient; rather, it is about honouring a trust with compassion. A steady connection can significantly help prevent emotional ups and downs, fostering a home environment where children feel secure and can better handle their emotions with trust.

 

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