What reminder helps when they repeat an adult’s disrespect? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children sometimes copy the tone or behaviour of other adults they observe, whether it is a relative speaking harshly or even a parent in a moment of stress. When they repeat this disrespect, it can feel awkward to correct them. The key is to teach them that simply imitating an adult does not automatically make a behaviour right, and that your family’s values are the standard they should follow. 

Remind Them of Your Family’s Standards 

You can say to your child, ‘Even if you may have heard an adult say that, in our family, we have a rule about always speaking with respect.’ This makes it clear that respect is a non-negotiable value in your home, regardless of the source of the poor behaviour they have copied. 

Teach Critical Awareness 

Gently explain to your child that adults also make mistakes sometimes. You can reassure them by saying, ‘Grown-ups can sometimes get it wrong too, but our job is to always try to choose the best words.’ This helps your child to separate the general principle of respecting adults from the act of blindly copying their errors. 

Link Back to Their Own Role Modelling 

You can also empower your child by pointing out that their own good behaviour sets an example for others. You could say, ‘When you choose to speak kindly, you are showing everyone the right way to behave, even if others are not.’ This helps them to take pride in making their own positive choices. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to be discerning in whom we take as our role models. While respecting our elders is a duty, our ultimate example for character and conduct is always the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. 

The Best Example to Follow 

The Quran reminds believers that the ultimate and most perfect example to follow in all matters of life and character is the Messenger of Allah, not every person we see around us. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verses 21: 

‘ Indeed, there is for you (O mankind) in (the personality of) the Messenger of Allah (Almighty) (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), an outstanding example of incredible benevolence; it is for those people that have hope in Allah (Almighty) and the Day of Judgment…’ 

The Value of the Best Manners 

The prophetic tradition teaches us that the people who are most beloved are those who have the best manners. This encourages us to always strive for the highest standard of behaviour, not just to imitate the average. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3559, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of you to me are those who have the best manners.’ 

By reminding your child that not all adult behaviour is worth imitating, you are guiding them to hold themselves to a higher standard: the beautiful example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. They learn that even when they see or hear disrespect from others, their duty as a Muslim is to rise above it with kindness, which helps to shape their character with both wisdom and faith.