What plan gives each child weekly ‘special time’ that actually happens? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children thrive when they feel they have their parents’ full and undivided attention, even if it is only for short periods. Without a clear and intentional plan, ‘special time’ can often get lost in the busyness of daily family life. A weekly structure helps to ensure that each child feels individually seen, valued, and loved, not just as part of the family group but as a unique individual.

 

Schedule It as a Fixed Appointment 

It is helpful to choose a specific time slot for each child, such as Saturday afternoon with one and Sunday evening with another. Writing these times into the family calendar ensures that they are predictable and respected like any other important commitment. This predictability reassures your children that their special time will not be forgotten or overlooked. 

Keep It Simple and Child-Led 

Allow your child to choose the activity for their special time. This could be a board game, a walk in the park, baking a cake, or simply talking. The goal is presence, not perfection. Even 20 to 30 minutes of focused, undistracted time can make a powerful and lasting impact on your child’s sense of security. 

Protect the Time from Distractions 

During this special time, it is vital to turn off your phone, pause any chores, and give your child your complete focus. A simple phrase, such as, ‘This is our special time, and nothing else is going to get in the way,’ helps your child to feel completely secure and valued in that moment. 

By creating a clear and realistic structure for this time, parents can move from good intentions to a consistent and meaningful practice. This makes ‘special time’ a living reality that strengthens each child’s emotional security and deepens their bond with their parents. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Islamic tradition places great value on treating children with fairness and giving each one the individual attention and recognition they need to feel loved and secure within the family. 

The Islamic Value of Individual Recognition 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other…’ 

This verse reminds us that individual recognition is a fundamental part of human dignity. Taking the time to know each of our children as unique individuals is an essential part of practising justice in the home. 

The Prophetic Counsel on Fairness 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 3544, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Maintain justice among your children in giving gifts, just as you would like them to be equal in showing you dutifulness.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the principle of fairness extends beyond material gifts to include the way parents share their love, attention, and recognition. 

By setting a consistent plan for special time with each child, parents are mirroring this beautiful Prophetic justice. Each child grows up feeling individually loved and secure, knowing that their worth does not depend on having to compete for attention, but is recognised and honoured as their right.