Parenting Perspective 

When children or teens are upset, parents often rush into correcting or questioning, which can escalate tension instead of calming it. The key is to use phrasing that signals a pause, shifts the tone, and opens the door to calmer dialogue. Short, respectful words delivered in a steady voice can transform a tense moment into a safe conversation. 

Use a Neutral Pause Phrase 

Instead of reacting sharply, try lines such as: 

• “Let us take a breath and start again.” 

• “I hear you; let us slow down so I understand better.” 

• “Shall we press pause and talk calmly?” 

Add Reassurance 

Combine the pause with comfort: “I care about what you are saying, so I want to hear it calmly.” This reminds your child that the goal is connection, not control. 

Keep It Brief and Consistent 

Children learn over time that these phrases mean safety, not dismissal. Using them regularly makes them trusted cues, much like traffic lights guiding when to stop and restart. 

By using a short reset phrase, you lower emotional intensity and teach your child that even difficult moments can be softened into respectful conversations. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises controlling anger and approaching others with calmness and mercy. Using gentle words to reset tense moments is a reflection of prophetic character. 

Guidance from the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

This reminds us that choosing calm over anger brings us closer to Allah Almighty’s love. 

Teaching from the Hadith 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes others by force, but the strong is the one who controls himself while angry.’ 

This teaches us that true strength lies in calming ourselves, not in overpowering others. 

By adopting short, calm reset phrases, you show your child that strength is found in gentleness. They learn that even heated moments can be redirected toward peace, love, and remembrance of Allah Almighty.