-
ADD (Hyperactivity)
- Articles coming soon
-
ADHD
- Articles coming soon
-
Anxiety
- Articles coming soon
-
Autism
- Articles coming soon
-
Behaviour
-
-
- Should I comfort my child after a tantrum, or stick to enforcing consequences
- What should I avoid doing that might accidentally make tantrums worse?
- How do I stop tantrums becoming a habit whenever my child wants something?
- Should I use time-outs for tantrums or is there a better way?
- What kind of discipline strategies work for tantrums without shaming the child?
-
- How can I help my child learn to manage their emotions before they explode?
- How can I teach calming techniques to a very young child?
- How can I teach my child to take deep breaths or count when upset?
- How do I calm my child down when they are having a full-blown meltdown?
- What are helpful things to say during a tantrum to make my child feel seen?
- How do I encourage my child to ask for help instead of melting down?
- How do I explain to my child that it is okay to feel upset, but not to act out?
- How do I explain to my child what is happening in their body when they get angry?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
-
- Are rewards helpful in preventing tantrums, or do they just lead to children demanding each time?
- How do I handle tantrums first thing in the morning before school or nursery?
- Can too much screen time make tantrums worse and what is the solution?
- How can I use routine and structure to reduce emotional outbursts?
- How do I deal with tantrums around bedtime or when it is time to stop screen time?
- How do I deal with tantrums in the car or when we are travelling?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
- What should I do if my child uses tantrums to delay things they do not want to do, like bedtime or clean-up?
-
- Can daily affirmations or calm rituals help children feel more secure?
- How can I create a calm-down corner or space for my child?
- How do I set boundaries during a tantrum without escalating the situation?
- Is it better to hold or leave my child during a tantrum?
- How can I reset the mood after a difficult tantrum?
- How do I stop my child from hitting or kicking during a tantrum?
- Should I ignore my child during a tantrum or try to talk to them?
- What kind of tone and body language helps when I’m de-escalating a tantrum?
-
-
-
Celebrations
- Articles coming soon
-
Clothing
- Articles coming soon
-
Correct Parental Attitude
- Articles coming soon
-
Cultural Crimes & Misconduct
- Articles coming soon
-
Curiosity
- Articles coming soon
-
Death of a Child
- Articles coming soon
-
Dental Care Issues
- Articles coming soon
-
Dyscalculia
- Articles coming soon
-
Dyslexia
- Articles coming soon
-
Dyspraxia
- Articles coming soon
-
Education
- Articles coming soon
-
Faith
- Articles coming soon
-
Family Dynamics
- Articles coming soon
-
Female Issues
- Articles coming soon
-
Financial Rights
- Articles coming soon
-
Food
- Articles coming soon
-
Health Issues and Disabilities
- Articles coming soon
-
Identity
- Articles coming soon
-
Life Skills
- Articles coming soon
-
Medical Care Issues
- Articles coming soon
-
Mental Health
- Articles coming soon
-
Money Issues
- Articles coming soon
-
Newborns
- Articles coming soon
-
OCD (Perfectionism)
- Articles coming soon
-
Orphans
- Articles coming soon
-
Parental Relationship
- Articles coming soon
-
Pets
- Articles coming soon
-
Physical Development
-
Puberty
- Articles coming soon
-
Responsibility
- Articles coming soon
-
Safety
- Articles coming soon
-
Sleep
- Articles coming soon
-
Social Skills
- Articles coming soon
-
Sports
- Articles coming soon
-
Technology
- Articles coming soon
-
Toys
- Articles coming soon
What kind of tone and body language helps when I’m de-escalating a tantrum?
Parenting Perspective
The way a parent reacts, both in actions and words, during a child’s tantrum can significantly influence whether the situation gets worse or starts to calm down. Children are very attuned to the signals from adults nearby, especially in terms of voice tone, facial expressions, body posture, and gestures. A calm, low, and firm voice, along with steady and slow movements, generally helps to lessen anxiety and agitation in children. Using harsh tones or abrupt gestures can backfire, causing fear or resistance instead of the desired response. Being at the child’s eye level, whether standing or sitting, can make them feel more secure and understood, instead of feeling overwhelmed or overshadowed.
Maintaining calm and open body language, like keeping your hands relaxed and shoulders down, can indicate that the parent is managing their emotions well and that the surroundings feel secure. Taking a moment of silence or a short pause before speaking allows the child to manage their breathing and lessen sensory overload. The actions described may not instantly end a tantrum, but they help establish a basis for the child to gradually start calming down. Over time, this approach teaches that intense emotions can be handled without yelling or causing a disturbance.
Spiritual Insight
Islamic teachings provide valuable advice on handling strong emotions with grace and self-discipline. Children learn by watching others, and when a parent remains calm, they serve as a real-life example of patience and kindness. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: ‘…They suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ This verse encourages a deep internal discipline that can be quietly expressed through voice and posture, especially when emotions run high.
Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also modelled extraordinary calmness and compassion with children. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi Hadith 1919, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy on our young and does not respect our elders.’ This mercy was evident not just in his words, but also in his calm manner. He never raised his voice in anger, even when addressing errors. When a child feels overwhelmed, they require a sense of safety rather than a feeling of threat. When you show kindness in your voice and calmness in your gestures, you create an environment that allows your child to regain emotional stability. The restraint and compassion shown by parents can be seen as a form of Sabr and a way to seek the approval of Allah Almighty. Each calm reaction serves as a Dua for strength, guidance, and harmony within the family.