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What kind of language should I avoid if I want to nurture emotional safety?

Parenting Perspective

Language that labels, shames, or dismisses is crucial to fostering emotional safety. Phrases like ‘You are so dramatic,’ ‘You always mess things up,’ and ‘Why cannot you be more like…’ cause harm rather than progress. When used during emotionally charged situations, even seemingly innocuous sarcasm can cause a youngster great distress. Children internalise the tone and meaning of the words as well as the words themselves. Rather than someone learning via hardship, harsh remarks may lead them to feel that they are the issue. Select language that demonstrates to the child that they are protected even when being led and that distinguishes identity from activity. Boundaries are not to be avoided. It entails treating them with dignity. A child’s perception of oneself is shaped by language, which also serves as their voice as an adult.  

Spiritual Insight

The noble Quran guides us to speak with dignity. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: ‘And informed My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan (is always ready) to infuse anarchy between them….’  

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2891, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: ‘A good word…is regarded as charity.’ Every phrase we use has the power to either strengthen or weaken a child’s sense of value. Our words as parents might either cause an emotional scar or an emotional Sadaqah. Even while correcting someone, speaking gently is not only the right thing to do, but it is also Sunnah.  


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