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What kind of language can I use to help my child feel truly loved?

Parenting Perspective

Children’s inner voices are shaped by words. Frequently say ‘I love you,’ but be specific as well: ‘I love how kind you were,’ or ‘I am so happy you are my child.’ When things get tough, say something encouraging, like, ‘I love you even when you are upset.’ Do not equate love with success or conduct. ‘You matter,’ ‘You are enough,’ and ‘You can always come to me’ are examples of language that fosters identification and safety. These sentences serve as emotional lifelines for children, even after the occasion has passed.

Spiritual Insight

Allah Almighty communicates His love and care directly and repeatedly. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: ‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ This exhibits the mercy of God. By using words to build them up, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ frequently spoke to his companions in a kind and supportive manner. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3665, that he would express love openly, even to children. Some Bedouin people came to the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and said: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said: ‘Yes’. He said: ‘But we, by Allah Almighty, never kiss (our children)’. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: ‘What can I do if Allah Almighty has taken away mercy from you?’ Words are seeds; when rooted in love and faith, they grow into confidence and closeness.

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