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ADD (Hyperactivity)
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Behaviour
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- Should I comfort my child after a tantrum, or stick to enforcing consequences
- What should I avoid doing that might accidentally make tantrums worse?
- How do I stop tantrums becoming a habit whenever my child wants something?
- Should I use time-outs for tantrums or is there a better way?
- What kind of discipline strategies work for tantrums without shaming the child?
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- How can I help my child learn to manage their emotions before they explode?
- How can I teach calming techniques to a very young child?
- How can I teach my child to take deep breaths or count when upset?
- How do I calm my child down when they are having a full-blown meltdown?
- What are helpful things to say during a tantrum to make my child feel seen?
- How do I encourage my child to ask for help instead of melting down?
- How do I explain to my child that it is okay to feel upset, but not to act out?
- How do I explain to my child what is happening in their body when they get angry?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
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- Are rewards helpful in preventing tantrums, or do they just lead to children demanding each time?
- How do I handle tantrums first thing in the morning before school or nursery?
- Can too much screen time make tantrums worse and what is the solution?
- How can I use routine and structure to reduce emotional outbursts?
- How do I deal with tantrums around bedtime or when it is time to stop screen time?
- How do I deal with tantrums in the car or when we are travelling?
- What can I do when my child starts screaming or crying the moment I say ‘no’ to something they want?
- What should I do if my child uses tantrums to delay things they do not want to do, like bedtime or clean-up?
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- Can daily affirmations or calm rituals help children feel more secure?
- How can I create a calm-down corner or space for my child?
- How do I set boundaries during a tantrum without escalating the situation?
- Is it better to hold or leave my child during a tantrum?
- How can I reset the mood after a difficult tantrum?
- How do I stop my child from hitting or kicking during a tantrum?
- Should I ignore my child during a tantrum or try to talk to them?
- What kind of tone and body language helps when I’m de-escalating a tantrum?
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Celebrations
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Correct Parental Attitude
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Toys
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What kind of discipline strategies work for tantrums without shaming the child?
Parenting Perspective
Discipline that maintains a child’s dignity and emotional safety is crucial for managing behaviour in the short term and fostering character development in the long term. Criticising a child for their outbursts might temporarily stop the behaviour, but it can cause lasting emotional harm and teaches them to conceal their feelings instead of learning how to handle them. A more effective and respectful method includes establishing clear and calm boundaries while consistently maintaining expectations. When a child has a tantrum, responding in a firm yet neutral manner helps them understand that while their feelings are valid, the behaviour is not acceptable. For instance, by calmly stating, ‘It is okay to feel upset, but throwing things is not allowed,’ you provide the child with both acknowledgement of their feelings and a clear limit.
Logical consequences can be beneficial when they are fair and communicated with understanding. If a child does not clean up their toys, those toys may be taken away for a specific duration. Employing constructive discipline techniques, such as collaborating on solutions once the child is calm, enhances their emotional comprehension. This method assists children in managing their emotions and making decisions while ensuring they do not feel rejected or undervalued. This approach assists parents in maintaining a calm response to misbehaviour instead of reacting emotionally. As a result, it fosters a home environment that is safer and more trusting emotionally.
Spiritual Insight
In Islam, discipline is based on the principles of mercy, justice, and patience. Discipline involves guiding a child’s character in a manner that mirrors the example set by the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, rather than exerting control over them. Shaming goes against the Islamic principle of maintaining a person’s dignity, which also applies to children. The Almighty addresses believers with kindness and clarity in the noble Quran, setting an example of the tone we should strive to adopt. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 125: ‘Invite (people) to (follow) the (prescribed) pathways of your Sustainer with wisdom, and polite enlightened direction, and only argue with them in the politest manner….’ Although this verse addresses Dawah, the principle of wise, respectful communication applies strongly to parenting. Furthermore, Allah Almighty describes holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 128: ‘Without any doubt, there has come to you (O mankind), the Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ) from amongst yourself; (the thought) of your suffering weighs heavily upon him, he is extremely desirous (for the best) for you; and remains most compassionate and most merciful for the believers.’ This mercy and concern are foundational for every parent. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, respect our elders, and command good and forbid evil…’ This Hadith emphasises that emotional discipline should be rooted in compassion rather than harshness. By maintaining respectful boundaries without shaming, parents follow the Prophetic model, raising children who feel supported rather than embarrassed. They acquire self-control and learn to treat others with the same respect they have been given.