What is the right way to handle a child who refuses to eat after losing access to a device? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child refuses to eat after their screen time ends, it is almost always a tactic to regain a sense of control. The most effective response is to remain calm and refuse to engage in a power struggle, which is what the child is seeking. 

Do Not Negotiate with Hunger 

Your stance should be gentle, loving, but completely firm. You can say, ‘I understand you feel upset that screen time is over. It is your choice whether you eat, but the kitchen will be closed after dinner’. This communicates that while their feelings are valid, food is not a bargaining tool in your home. 

Keep Mealtimes Calm and Neutral 

Do not plead, bribe, or show frustration. Serve their plate as you normally would and continue with a cheerful family meal. Your calm confidence is a powerful message. It shows them that their refusal to eat will not disrupt the family routine or cause you distress, which defuses the entire power struggle. 

Never Reward the Behaviour 

The moment you offer the device back in exchange for them eating, you teach the child that their tactic was successful. It is crucial to hold the boundary. Allowing a healthy child to miss one meal will not harm them; it will, however, teach them a valuable lesson about consequences. 

Welcome Them Back Without Drama 

When your child eventually decides to eat, whether it is ten minutes later or the next morning, welcome them back to the table with warmth and neutrality. Avoid saying, ‘I told you you would get hungry’. A simple, ‘It is good to see you are ready to eat now,’ reinforces that eating is a normal, healthy choice, not a victory or a defeat. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches parents to be steadfast in their duty to guide their children and to have trust in the natural, pure disposition that Allah has placed in every child. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 132: 

‘And command your family to prayer and bestowed fast thereupon, We (Allah Almighty) do not ask you for any provisions, it is We (Allah Almighty) Who provide for you…’ 

This verse, while about prayer, teaches a profound parenting principle. Our duty is to “enjoin” or establish good habits with steadfastness. We are not responsible for forcing the outcome, as Allah is the ultimate Provider. This should calm a parent’s anxiety: your role is to provide the food and the loving boundary; the rest is in Allah’s hands. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reminded us of a child’s innate goodness. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2658, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no child but that he is born upon the natural fitrah‘ 

This is a deep source of reassurance. A child is born with a natural inclination (fitrah) towards what is good and healthy, including the need to eat. A refusal to eat is a temporary, learned behaviour used to test boundaries. A parent’s job is to remain a calm, steady guide who helps their child return to their own natural, healthy instincts.