Parenting Perspective 

The term ‘white lie’ is often used to describe small falsehoods told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. While the intention may seem harmless, this concept can be confusing for children, suggesting that some forms of dishonesty are acceptable. Your role is to clarify that Islam values truthfulness as a core principle, while also teaching that politeness and kindness can be achieved without resorting to lies. 

Define Truthfulness Clearly 

Explain to your child in simple terms: ‘In our faith, a lie is a lie, no matter how small it seems. Our goal is always to find a way to tell the truth that is also kind.’ This helps to establish a clear boundary around dishonesty, preventing them from justifying it under the label of ‘white lies’. 

Provide Polite and Honest Alternatives 

Equip your child with phrases that are both truthful and considerate. If they do not like a particular food, they can learn to say, ‘Thank you so much for making this for me,’ which expresses gratitude without falsehood. This demonstrates that honesty and courtesy can go hand in hand and provides practical tools for navigating social situations. 

Model Truthful Communication 

Children internalise the lessons they see in action. When you model honesty in everyday social interactions, such as declining an invitation politely instead of fabricating an excuse, you provide a powerful, real-life example for them to follow. Your consistency teaches them that truthfulness is a practical and respected way of life. 

Emphasise the Importance of Trust 

Regularly discuss how honesty is the foundation of all strong relationships. Remind your child that trust, once broken, is difficult to repair, and even small untruths can weaken it. This applies to their relationship with other people and, most importantly, with Allah Almighty. 

By guiding your child towards respectful honesty over the use of ‘white lies,’ you are nurturing their integrity and their emotional intelligence simultaneously. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam holds truthfulness in the highest regard, permitting deviations from it only in exceptionally rare and clearly defined circumstances where a greater good is at stake. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 42: 

‘ And do not mix the truth with falsehood, and do not conceal the truth, and you are fully aware (of what you are doing).‘ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that truth should remain pure and distinct from falsehood; mixing them, even with good intentions, is discouraged. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1939, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible to lie except in three cases: to one’s wife to please her, during war, and to reconcile between people.’ 

This hadith clarifies that the exceptions for lying are extremely narrow and are permitted only to achieve objectives of great importance, such as preserving marital harmony or making peace between people. 

By explaining to your child that ‘white lies’ are not an accepted practice in Islam, you help them understand that truth is almost always the stronger and safer choice. In time, they will come to see honesty as a source of dignity, trust, and closeness to Allah Almighty.