What is the healthiest way to recover credibility if children see parents sneaking extra screen time? 

Parenting Perspective 

Own the Behaviour Honestly 

If a child catches a parent sneaking extra screen time after family limits have been set, it can seriously damage their credibility. The best first step is to acknowledge the behaviour openly and honestly: ‘You are right, I was not following the rule we all agreed on.’ While denial or defensiveness will only deepen the mistrust, a sincere admission models accountability. It teaches children that everyone struggles at times, but real strength is found in admitting one’s mistakes. 

Reframe It as a Shared Struggle 

Following the apology, a parent can reframe the situation as a shared family struggle: ‘This is difficult for me too, but I want to improve. Let’s agree to support each other.’ By presenting the issue as a collective challenge rather than a one-sided rule imposed on children, the parent transforms the moment into a partnership. This helps prevent children from seeing the boundaries as unfair or hypocritical. 

Demonstrate Change Through Action 

Ultimately, credibility is restored not with words, but with consistent action. Parents must make visible adjustments to their own habits, such as setting app timers, leaving devices outside the bedroom at night, or enthusiastically joining in with screen-free family rituals. When children see their parents making a sincere effort, respect is rebuilt, and they learn that discipline is about persistence, not perfection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Trust as a Sacred Responsibility 

In Islam, trust (amanah) is a sacred responsibility in all relationships. When parents set rules, they create a trust with their children. Breaking that trust, even in small ways, is a serious matter that must be repaired with sincerity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘ O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).‘ 

The Responsibility of a Shepherd 

Parents are described as shepherds, responsible for the flock under their care. This leadership role requires integrity, as credibility is built on the fair and sincere application of the standards they set for their family. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, 212, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.’ 

Leading with Humility and Integrity 

By admitting their mistakes honestly, framing them as shared struggles, and demonstrating a visible commitment to change, parents can successfully recover their credibility. Children learn from this example that true authority does not come from being flawless, but from leading with humility, consistency, and integrity for the sake of Allah Almighty.