What is the healthiest way for parents to seek outside help (teachers, counsellors, imams) without feeling like failures? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is facing a complex online issue, it is natural for parents to feel that seeking outside help from a teacher, counsellor, or imam is a sign that they have somehow failed. In reality, it is a sign of great wisdom and care. The key is to reframe the act of seeking help not as a failure, but as a proactive and responsible step towards finding the best solution for your child. 

Reframe Seeking Help as a Strength, Not a Weakness 

You can reframe the act of seeking help as a form of partnership. Just as we consult doctors for our physical health, turning to teachers, counsellors, or imams for our children’s spiritual and emotional well-being is a sign of profound care, not inadequacy. It shows that you are willing to do whatever it takes to support your child. 

Choose Your Sources of Support Wisely 

It is important to be selective and thoughtful about whom you approach for guidance. A trusted teacher may be able to help with school-related issues, a professional counsellor can provide specific emotional tools, and a knowledgeable imam can offer spiritual reassurance. Choosing people who are known for their empathy and confidentiality ensures that the guidance you receive will strengthen your child, not expose them to further judgment. 

Remain Involved and Supportive 

Seeking help from others should never mean that you take a step back from your own parental role. It is crucial to remain actively involved, showing your child: ‘We are with you in this process.’ Attending sessions together, following up on the advice you are given, and reflecting as a family reinforces the message that this outside help is an extension of your parental care, not a replacement for it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that seeking guidance from those with knowledge is not a sign of failure, but a mark of humility and wisdom. By embracing outside help as a tool of partnership, parents can model this important Islamic principle for their children. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 43: 

‘…So (always) question the people of realisation, if you find yourselves unaware of (anything).‘ 

This is a direct and clear command from Allah. It reminds us that the act of seeking guidance from those who are more knowledgeable is an act of wisdom and obedience, not weakness. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a believer to another believer is like the bricks of a building, each one strengthens the other.’ 

This beautiful analogy teaches us that seeking help from others is not a sign of failure, but is in fact part of how believers are designed to support and complete one another. 

This helps your children to learn that true strength lies not in trying to handle everything alone, but in working with trustworthy people to find the best and most righteous path forward.