What is the best way to repair trust if children notice parents breaking their own tech rules? 

Parenting Perspective 

Admit the Mistake Honestly 

When a child observes a parent breaking a family tech rule, such as using a phone at the dinner table, trust can be easily damaged if the parent becomes dismissive or denies it. The most constructive response is to admit the mistake directly and honestly: ‘You are right. I did not follow the rule we agreed on, and I will try again.’ This sincerity demonstrates integrity and prevents children from viewing the rules as hypocritical. 

Repair With Action, Not Just Words 

Children learn to trust again not through promises, but by observing consistent change. A parent must make a visible effort to adhere to the same rules expected of the entire family, whether that involves phone-free meals or respecting screen curfews. By modelling this self-correction, parents show that the rules are designed for fairness and mutual growth, not simply for control. 

Use It as a Teachable Moment 

A parent can also explain that family rules are not about achieving perfection but about striving for balance. Saying, ‘Even adults sometimes struggle, but what matters most is that we get back on track,’ reframes the lesson from one of failure to one of resilience. This teaches children that true discipline is about persistence, not a flawless record. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Importance of Integrity 

Islam places great emphasis on aligning our actions with our words. Children are far more likely to respect and follow rules when they see their parents living by them with sincerity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Saff (61), Verses 2-3: 

‘O you who are believers, why do you say (to others that) which you do not do (yourself)? It is highly detested by Allah (Almighty) that you say (to others) that which you do not do (yourself).’ 

The Responsibility of Leadership 

Parents are entrusted with the duty of guiding their families, a responsibility that begins with leading by example. Our commitment to upholding shared rules is a reflection of this sacred trust. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1705, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

Strengthening Trust Through Accountability 

Through admitting mistakes, modelling corrective behaviour, and maintaining consistency, parents can repair and even strengthen the bond of trust. This teaches children that family rules are not instruments of control or perfection, but are shared commitments built on honesty, fairness, and the collective desire to please Allah Almighty.