Parenting Perspective 

When dishonesty is used as a tool in sibling rivalry, it can seriously damage family harmony. Handling this requires calm intervention and a focus on teaching your children that healthy competition must never come at the cost of the truth. 

Stay Neutral and Investigate Carefully 

If one child accuses the other, it is important to avoid taking sides too quickly. Take the time to listen carefully to each child’s account of what happened. This approach prevents the dishonest child from feeling that lying is a successful strategy, and it reassures the honest child that you are committed to being fair. 

Address the Root Cause and Correct Gently 

Often, this kind of lying stems from jealousy or a need for more attention. Spending dedicated one-on-one time with each child and affirming their unique strengths can reduce their need to compete dishonestly. When dishonesty is confirmed, calmly explain its harm: ‘Lying about your sibling does not make you look better; it weakens your bond.’ A fair consequence should follow, along with guidance on how to rebuild trust. 

Promote Healthy Competition and Cooperation 

You can also encourage your children to celebrate each other’s successes, rather than feeling threatened by them. Designing family activities where they must work together as a team instead of as rivals helps to shift their focus from competition to cooperation. By consistently balancing fairness with guidance, you help them to see that honesty strengthens their relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Backbite or Be Suspicious 

Islam teaches that envy and dishonesty weaken the bonds of brotherhood. The Quran uses a powerful and visceral image—likening backbiting to eating the flesh of one’s dead brother—to show how ugly and harmful such behaviour is in the sight of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘ Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against other; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

Be Servants of Allah as Brothers 

The prophetic tradition explicitly forbids the behaviours that fuel unhealthy rivalry, such as envy, hatred, and turning away from one another. Instead, we are commanded to live as brothers and sisters, united as servants of Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices for one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not undercut one another in trade. Be, O servants of Allah, brothers.’ 

Truth as the Foundation of Sibling Love 

By showing your children that dishonesty is not just unfair but is also spiritually harmful, you guide them towards truthfulness. They learn over time that honesty and fairness are the only ways to compete with dignity and to earn the pleasure of Allah.