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What is the best way to discipline my child without harming our emotional connection?
PostedJuly 11, 2025
UpdatedJuly 11, 2025
Views7
Parenting Perspective
Control is not the objective of discipline. It is about being kind and clear in your instruction. Instead of reacting emotionally when your child misbehaves, respond with composed authority. Be firm without being intimidating. You want to mould character, not embarrassment. Make use of predictable, proportionate, and consistent consequences. Remind your child, ‘I am guiding you because I love you,’ at the same time. In times of correction, connection should never be kept captive. Once you’ve established the boundaries, reach back in with a loving tone, an embrace, or an offer to play. This reaffirms the unconditional nature of the tie. When discipline is based on relationships, children flourish. They discover that being corrected does not imply emotional detachment and that errors do not render people unloveable.
Spiritual Insight
The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ disciplined with compassion. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1951, that ‘That a man should discipline his son is better for him than to have given a Sa’ in charity.’ Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahrim (66), Verse 6:
‘O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire…’
However, the prophetic approach was never degrading and was always gentle. Even in chastisement, he talked softly, corrected with intelligence, and remained emotionally kind. Parents emulate this Sunnah when they punish their children with mercy, justice, and presence. The emotional connection between a parent and a childis therefore maintained, reinforced by trust and understanding, and discipline turns into an act of guiding rather than rejection.
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