What is the best way to address FOMO when a child sees all their classmates in a WhatsApp group they are not part of? 

Parenting Perspective 

The ‘fear of missing out’ (FOMO) can be particularly intense for a child who knows their classmates are all in a WhatsApp group that they are not a part of. This can lead to painful feelings of exclusion and worry about being left behind in their friendships. It is a sensitive issue for parents to navigate; dismissing their child’s feelings can deepen the hurt, but giving in without careful thought could expose them to gossip or negative peer pressure. The goal is to validate their emotions while teaching resilience and offering more constructive ways to feel a sense of belonging. 

Validate Their Disappointment 

Begin with empathy, showing that you understand their pain: ‘I can see that you are upset about not being in that group. It is completely normal to feel left out when it seems like your friends are doing something together without you.’ This shows your child that their feelings are taken seriously and creates an atmosphere of trust. 

Teach That Online Inclusion Is Not Real Inclusion 

Gently explain that being a member of a large group chat does not guarantee a feeling of real friendship or happiness. Remind them that these online spaces can often be a source of drama, gossip, or even bullying. You can ask them to reflect: ‘Do you think being in that group would always make you feel good about yourself?’ This helps them to understand that digital inclusion is not always positive. 

Strengthen Offline Bonds 

Shift the focus from what they are missing online to what they can build offline. Encourage face-to-face friendships by helping to arrange playdates or outings with a small circle of trusted friends. Remind your child that a few quality friendships in the real world are worth more than being a silent member of a hundred-person digital group. 

Reframe Their Perspective 

Help your child to see the situation from a different angle. You could say: ‘Perhaps you are not missing out on something important, but are actually being protected from conversations that might be harmful or hurtful.’ You can pair this with encouragement to focus on meaningful activities that boost their confidence and bring them genuine joy, such as hobbies, sports, or family adventures. 

By balancing empathy with a new perspective, parents can help their children to understand that digital exclusion is not the same as true isolation, and that real, lasting belonging is built in healthier spaces. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true honour and a genuine sense of belonging come from aligning ourselves with what is pleasing to Allah Almighty, not from trying to fit into every social circle. From this perspective, what feels like social exclusion can sometimes be a form of divine protection and mercy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 135: 

‘ O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us that our first loyalty must be to our values and to standing for what is right, which is more important than blending into every group or social dynamic. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2414, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever seeks Allah’s pleasure at the expense of people’s anger, Allah will suffice him against the people. And whoever seeks people’s pleasure at the expense of Allah’s anger, Allah will leave him to the people.’ 

This teaching provides a clear guide for our priorities. It shows that true success and sufficiency are found in seeking the approval of Allah, even if it means not being included by our peers. 

By connecting the feeling of FOMO to their faith, parents can show their children that being excluded from a particular group chat is not a true loss, but can be an opportunity to stay safe, preserve their dignity, and find a sense of belonging in what truly matters. Over time, this builds resilience and confidence rooted in a strong Islamic identity.